" blithely walking into it "

---

nothing short of amazing. this is the category of the immediate present, and the ever-looming future times.

nothing short of spectacular, of optimism, of presence and grace and eloquence and love and desires, and all things that are good.

yesterday was perhaps one of the most beautiful rewarding days of the spring yet. delightful weather + farmer's market wanderings. post-hipster parents with puppies and babies searching through the stalls for fresh-baked loaves of grain breads, fresh strawberries, leafy greens, waxy vegetables, and artisinal cheeses.

went with an old friend, met up with a new one, and invited a passerby old neighbor over; never again the familiar stranger. you never know how rewarding just listening to someone is, until you see how alike and complex we all are in our thoughts, actions, wants, and heartaches.

we want to be held, we want to be strong, we want magic and mystery and challenges and romance. we want quality and substance. we should demand this from everyone that we choose freely to be in the company of.'we are all in this together,' is a term that comes to mind.

we talked, lounged in the grasses in the shade of a tree, while kites floated above and whispers of poetry murmured about below. it was a beautiful day, and times were had.

tonight's homework:

think hard about what things you want in your life; think about what energies you want to hold within and around you, people you want to interact and fumble around with, foods to consume and sustain you. think about all of these things, and then completely and honestly implement those qualities into your life with no compromise. homework for life.

---

mai 20:


mai 21:


mai 22:


mai 23:


mai 24:


---

" dead air "

---

sometimes there are no words left to describe the state of your being.

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mai 16:


mai 17:



mai 18:


mai 19:


---

" oh brave new world "

---

there is so much to be said about the need to travel the world. to see the people who live in other places, and to have the opportunity to not only observe, but interact and reflect.

for my young years, i've had great opportunities to see a lot of the world, to live in at least one other country, and because of my love of different cultures, by default become an amateur foodie (at least the love of eating part, sans snobbery).

get thee to the wide world then! there are a great many wondrous things to see and do yet.

as promised, here are the daily photos from the second half of my travels.

tonight's homework:

make a short list of places you are interested in traveling to. for exploration, for culture, for outdoors activities, for leisure, for pleasure, for life, for love, for just because. make that list, and then seek out the how, when, and where of it. maybe i'll meet you there.

---

avril 16:


morning mist forms and looms, clutching against the distant mountains along the train route between the northern city of lecco and the fashion capital of milan, lecco(near lake como/lombardi region) to milano-milan

avril 17:


an older couple look on as the red M1 red line stops at the loreto station, milano-milan

avril 18:


million dollar yachts line the harbor in the south of france along the mediterranean, cannes

avril 19:


one of the shops lining the 'cours saleya' flower market in the old city part of nice; the sign reads "south-east fish store," nice-ville

avril 20:


coins of offerings laid upon point zero, better known as the "belly-button" of paris, which rests in front of the notre dame cathedral, paris

avril 21:


onlookers and forever mourners flock to the grave-site of jim morrison at the cimetière du père lachaise, paris

avril 22:


a view towards the plaça d'espanya from the steps of the national museum of the art of catalunya, parc de montjuïc-barcelona

avril 23:


a couple sits along the backside of the maremagnum (a mall) located in the port vell (old port) area, barcelona

avril 24:


ice particles form a crystalline structure on the outer window of a swiss airline airplane, en routefrom geneva, switzerland to NYC

---

" spring pollen is a cock "

---

it's too breezy to just let the window open, yet it must be done as i have a small room. pollens and springtime floaties make their way into my mouth and eyes, into my nostrils and down my throat.

the eyes water, the throat dries and rasps. the head feels as if inside a vice and the sinus pinches. the neck and how tight is is. the respiratory system and how failed it becomes.

springtime is so pretty, but it has made me lesser than, albeit in one of the more beautiful displays of nature.

---

mai 14:


mai 15:


---

" the most beautiful blur "

---

can't do more than i can.
can't please more than i please.

can't be less hurt when i am.
can't help but to release.

can't run.
can't fight.

when you're wrong.
and when you're right.

and when it's all over,
what will we have
left to say?

---

mai 11:


mai 12:


mai 13:


---

" the new sunrise "

---

yesterday i started drinking socially at around 3pm in the coney island area. there was a lot of walking, an art show in lower manhattan replete with wine and bodies, a subterranean dance club/bar, and long adventurous meandering around the lower east side.

i ended up finishing my "night" at around 6:45am this morning with the last sip of my out-of-town roommate's young's chocolate stout on the roof of my building, the newly born sun rising through a thin clutch of egg-shaped clouds; they held a radiant deep red-orange tone throughout the length of its pliant long bodies.

nothing horrible happened, i wasn't hungover terribly, and i never felt sad or uncomfortable (aside from the club part with so too many dudes and me with my over-sized camera-filled bag in the way).

i spent the day in prospect park taking photos and eating veggie burgers and laughing with friends.

this weekend has tottered along fairly amazingly.

---

mai 09:


mai 10:


---

" the light through the trees "

---

there's nothing wrong with looking through the trees. nothing wrong with being optimistic. nothing wrong with sleeping late, getting up early, rampaging the city amidst a rainstorm, then repeating.

there's nothing wrong with loving science fiction. nothing wrong with loving travel (or time travel), and walking and bike lanes and sweets. nothing wrong with loving.

there's nothing wrong with hugs between friends and familiar strangers. nothing wrong with drinking 4-5 mcsorley beers in rapidfire succession. nothing wrong with singing to yourself out loud or daydreaming.

there's nothing wrong with handmade planners and making checklists. nothing wrong with indulging in meticulous crafts. nothing wrong with hobbies or passion, or wishing for beautiful things to happen.

---

mai 06:


mai 07:


mai 08:


---

" temporary shelf-life "

---

you never know what is going to happen in the future, near or far, so it's always best to treat every moment as if it's the final one.

things shift and change. people fall in and out of favor. your food tastes develop. your sense of musical wants differ and wane with time. nothing is permanent, and it has always been this way.

so what then can you do with the innate immediacy of the now?

you love to the best of your ability; take care your hearts and others. you revel in the songs which fuel your motivation; accept nothing but those tunes which touch you all over your insides in that awesome way.

you exercise or not. you eat that piece of chocolate or not. you indulge, you ravage, you entice and respond with fervor, or you remain silent.

it's not ultimately up to us when the future turns the present into the past, but you can always attempt to maintain a level of quality to your everyday which will solidify a sense of fulfillment. it's not about control, rather directing elements of chaos into desired outcomes.

no matter how it all turns out, at least you'll have given it your best shot.

your best shot.

---

avril 25:


avril 26:


avril 27:


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mai 03:


mai 04:


mai 05:


---

" the world is growing smaller and smaller "

---

now that i'm back in the states, now that i'm behind in my posts and photos, now that the weather had both turned for the better then the wetter, now that all my daytime is spent editing photos from this last trip and night times spent dreaming of travel...


here are some glimpses of the first half, in order of days of travel, into the images which haunt of my every moment since returning.

tonight's homework:

finish that first project you've been working on, while keeping the other 12 projects juggled and pseudo-organized in the middle-back of your mind.

---

avril 07:


killing time at the washington/dulles airport during a fidgety 6-hour layover, washington d.c.

avril 08:


an outercity metro station at night, roma-rome

avril 09:


a roman manhole cover littered with springtime blossoms, roma-rome

avril 10:


a holy spade, brickpiece, and hammer displayed at the musei vaticani, vatican city

avril 11:


a child looks out at the campo dei miracoli, cattedrale di santa maria assunta & torre di pisa from the upper level of the battistero at the opera dellaprimaziale pisana, pisa

avril 12:


a downwardly look down at the gulf of la spezia (an arm of the ligurian sea in the mediterranean) along 'lover's lane,' a cliffside trail which connects the villages of manorola with riomaggiore, cinque terre

avril 13:


a japanese tourist takes in the breathtaking 360° view of firenze's iconic red-tiled rooftops from atop the duomo, firenze-florence

avril 14:


my mom and i take a moment to document the actuality of our existence in a different place on the planet together, even if only in a reflection, venezia-venice

avril 15:


a man relaxes in the park while the tulips bloom in the foreground, in the city made famous by the fictitious star-crossed lovers romeo & juliet, verona

---

" you know what? be who you are "

---

feelings of conformity in the face of social mores are sort of overrated in this country. why spend so much of your time being the same, being normal, being one of the many? you should strive to be yourself.

there are many factors which lead people to change who they are. many of them are when we shift momentarily for certain events, certain people, certain social circles. it's inevitable that you'll feel awkward or inadequate, or unsafe, or odd, in the face of so many kool-aid drinkers. we all have to wear masks sometimes.

but you have to remember that you're a unique beautiful diamond. a true gem. a spectacular jewel. a singular star amongst a vast universe of indifference.

remember that even if you sometimes feel that you are on the spot and it makes you uncomfortable, be true to yourself, and confident, and you'll always know that you've done your best with honesty and grace.

in any case, i got your back.

---

mai 01:


mai 02:


---

" the look-&-take "

---

beauty beauty, i can see.
beauty beauty, resoundingly.

beauty beauty, photographically.
no beauty left within me.

---


---

" nothing like a bike ride "

---

when you're riding a bike, there is a feeling that reverberates throughout your entire being, that in no small way, completes a circuit within your soul.

the sense of freedom, or exhilaration, of a sublime calm and peacefulness which envelops and duplicates as you slice through the air like an arrow.

there's nothing like a bike ride.

when you're riding a bike, your body is half at rest and half in action. legs push and pump alongside increased heart rates. arms clutch and flex with each stride. the fingers grip, and the world blurs beautifully past.

you find yourself becoming more aware and sounds enter your ears for snippets of seconds, then fall behind with the fallen flower blossoms, the swells of dust, and the worries of the world.

there's nothing like a bike ride.

---


---

" the way and whetting of apetites "

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View Larger Map

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" of sleep patterns and wild dreams "

---

there will always be moments and distinctly unique situations of 'before-and-after.'

the ones about your school work, those ones about getting an epiphany at 3am in the morning about your life, one about the path to your first victory of your first love, and the one about the one about the way you picked yourself up after the end of your first love.

there will always be these moments. in droves they'll occur, and even without you noticing it, it is happening as you read this. yes, you actually are finding yourself in one or more peculiarly specific transitional moments right now. and isn't that amazing?

---

i know i've been away for a little while, but did we all collapse and wallow? did the earth stop spinning, did you not get your fix some other ingenious way?

everyone would like to think that the things they say, the lines they write, and the actions and work you do will speak volumes and volumes, amassing countless regarders and the like to, what could very well be in the end, your life's materworks.

and maybe that will exist later. and maybe this is it existing at it's apex right now. and are you okay with how vague and blithely surreal it all is?

i've had beautiful dreams the past few days, fueled by less sleep than i'd like, and my heart full to the brim with hopes and desires, with dreamery and creamery, with verve, with blood pumping madly furiously without respite, and with a top-spinning boiling creativity bristling with electricity. it is sort of amazing.

---

i know i promised this year, to all four of you now reading, that i'd try my best to share one photograph a day with the universe at large. and i do intend to keep that challenge vibrant and true. but please bear with the fact that i'm three days back to the states from an amazing vacay, and i've only now finished the first two days photos out of a total of 1905 individual documents of digital imagery.

my brain. my heart. my body. my eventual and profoundly present life.

it's happening right now, and there's nothing you can do to slow it's course. we're undoubtedly moving forward.

until i get it all organized, could we please have a little more of this:


thank you.

---

" the faster you run "

---

it seems that when we desire something, we are told to go after it. to sprint, dash, lunge, entreat, and woo. there's nothing particularly distasteful about following such suggestions, and perhaps pursuing your heart's desire with verve, with vigor.

but perhaps you have, or at least tried to, and came up a step behind, a moment too soon, or a moment too late. it's okay to hurt, that means it was real.

i'm not sure of what's going to happen, but i know that if i keep desiring something with all that flash and energy, something has to give. so instead of going full force towards a known, i'm going to attempt to pull the fastest 'fast one,' and go around the back way; i'm going to head into the unknown.

i'll be gone for some time, out there in the wide wonder of the world, in the hopes of building a perspective. one of what to do, where to stride towards, what to walk away from, and what exactly is out there in this world that moves me anymore.

i'm going to take my circle existence and rolltumble forward and all over, until i meander my way into a momentary venn diagram out there, and let it be something spectacular, before coming back home.

miss me if you want to, email if you want to, but in our collective absence from one another, take some time to craft together a venn diagram of understanding in your circle.

it's springtime, and i'm getting fidgety.

tonight's homework:

step out, ride that bike, dance, meander; it's all out there somwhere.

---


---

" 2:16am, and the winds are howling "

---

the long ride home in this furious sway of a wind, uphill and alone, was made more difficult by the flailing inability of my bicycle's chain to remain in traction upon the gear hub.

i would ride in the darkness, which was only offset by the intermittent blinking flash of my headlight, and with every quiver of the frame and its weight upon a mildly uneven surface, the chain would pop off without any remorse.

i would have to grimace inward, slow down to a crawl, hop off, and realign the loose mechanics; fingers dirty and thickly slick with grease, legs aching from the interrupted pace.

i could see the light of my building, like a somber beacon wooing me home with its illuminating siren qualities. fiddling with the keys, plodding up the two flights with the bicycle held aloft, the victory of arriving home felt like a warn weary engagement with a host unimpressed.

i was home, and there was no reverie, excepting the pleasure of being home.

---

avril 02:


avril 03:


avril 04:


avril 05:


---

" so much everything "

---

through whispers or songs, we're always trying to speak the inherent truths of our hearts. i'll sing you a quiet little tune which lays it bare and exposed.

i'll whisper into your ears packaged little secrets tied up with those same strings which moor me to your fading; my collected memories clutch like an anchor.

so many things, so many moments, so many. fleeting, fluttering, at times faltering.

how can i know the when and where, if i don't know the who? and the idea fades and wanes into nothingness, like a dream dissolving into wretched awakenings.

---


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