Friday, August 26, 2005

" international nerdery is rad "


BTMBRKT: yo man, are you still awake? What is it like early o'clock over there?
weederman23: it's like midnight 15 is what is be
weederman23: whaddup?
BTMBRKT: not much, just you know. working hard, surfing the net
weederman23: how's hollyweird?
weederman23: werd
BTMBRKT: same old hollywood
BTMBRKT: lattes and beamers
weederman23: oooo beamers
weederman23: hahah
weederman23: did you happen to get dylan's prospectus on his rubick's cube project?
BTMBRKT: yeah it's a rad idea

BTMBRKT: i've never been able to figure that damn thing out
weederman23: i saw some fake rubick's cubes at the chinatown market today and i was tempted to send that to him, but it looked all janky n shit
BTMBRKT: haha remember the weird rubick's cube, the non cube one?
weederman23: hell yeah
weederman23: what the hell was the thinking behind that?
weederman23: and i thought i have hella time to spare
BTMBRKT: i had that one, and messed around with it for one frustrating day
BTMBRKT: i wanna find that guy Rubick and punch him in the face
weederman23: i was always stuck on those weird knot, loop, and hoops get-the-ring-out puzzles
weederman23: i'll help you track him down, then i'll hold his legs
BTMBRKT: perfect. This will be a special feature to dylan's project
weederman23: i like it already


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

" why is television making me sad? " or " no more confusey me "


i'm just sitting there in my room in my boxers. you know? relaxing as one does. cut up some rose apple and begin slicing it up; seems like a fairly regular night of internet and television is about to ensue, and so i go ahead and turn on the teevee.

aaand lo and behold! what the hell is on?? (is what i ask)

um, forgive me, but what the hell is there a biography-styled (complete with sappy yet supportive musical accompaniment) deconstruction of the rise of now secretary of state condoleezza rice on? a-buh??

not that thai television programming is necessarily all that spectacular (aside from the occasional b-movie that didn't get US release come dubbed at nine in the morning on channel 3...sheer comedy!!), but jeezlaroo!!

i almost couldn't finish the rose apples i was so awestruck at the sheer oddity of it all. my mouth hung half open and agape. oh, and there's bush, and hey c'mon in donald r. pleasure to see you on thai airwaves. whathtehellisgoingon!!!?

there's something to be said about the power of bypassing such strange broadcasting choices with the magic that is dvdvd's.

there really is.

ps- another real kicker is that following the show was a 59th anniversary commercial for yamaha and their kalaidoscopically-rainbowed array of quality products, full with their entire line of exports explained in japanese, all over a whistling redition of the toy R' us 'theme song.'

(insert blank stare here, and a collective crapping of a brick)


Saturday, August 20, 2005

" hey mr. taxi man, you so crazy "


hypocrites come in all flavors. i especially like religious fanatics that go to the far reaches of the earth, just to spread their capitalistic endeavors in the guise of fanaticisms about god and love.

it's almost like 'yo, this place that is the end of the world to you guys [in your starchy white shirts and blue-black ties you bastards in slacks and male mary-janes shit for brains only speaking english because you give a flying shit about actually learning a second language coulda given me the money so i could develop my own work instead of wasting it so you can get your pasty girlfriend an ethnic trinket muthafuckas] is just the beginning for the inhabitants doi?'

but yes. i digress. hypocrites. sometimes they come at you all sneaky-like. as if a ninja in plain sight. and that happened to me today, and i was flustered for only a moment:

i was on my way back to my heez from the airport today. usually, when you go anywhere from the don muang international airport, you have to pay a pre-fare payment of 50 baht ($1.25), of which i usually can bypass with a little finesse.

the trick is that when you are leaving the airport alone or with a friend with little to no baggage, you can pick up a taxi from the departures level, that happens to be dropping a person or persons off, thus bypassing the taxi-chartering cost. and in this manner, i was thusly off towards home.

mr. taxi man chopped it up a bit about the state of some of the taxis; the age and make of the older models versus the newer sleeker ones with the bio-diesel options (of which he had). he barked furiously over the need for the comfort of the rider and then the driver; a/c being his top priority. then he scolded the other (50 baht charger) taxi drivers for wasting time, space, gas, and the money of riders by merely existing.

we went on to talk about the weather, the nature of the modern thai person in the face of foreign infrastructure and influences, of which i was fairly impressed due to the fact that he seemed like a thinker, but perhaps not outside the pattering-on taxi-man drivel sort of vein. i remember feeling a little impressed and also, he didn't ask me once about my non-clearly-speaking thai language skills, which was refreshing. go him!, i thought to myself.

when we neared to the saphan kwai area we came to a stilted brake-rev-scoot-brake-rev pattern due to the engaging traffic. he peered over to the curbside pathways across the street and commented on how the buddhist amulets were placed on the ground. this disturbed him greatly because images of the buddha and revered monks should not rest on the ground.

he reprimanded the sellers of the amulets enraged and on the cusp of releasing a thread of curses, but as a civil man, remained collected and respectful. it was an odd mix of intense respect for the ideology that is buddhism, and the sordid regard that these vendors attributed to their wares. i almost felt a sort of vibrant respect for the man; working hard and high morals makes the best shoot-the-shitters-in-a-taxi-cab people.

when we pulled up to where i requested to be dropped off, i slipped him the fare. the next thing that happened momentarily struck me befounded and aloof. and it was something that i myself was not entirely prepared to hear. he leans over in a now-that-we're-friends way, and he asks me for the 50 extra baht taxi-charter fare on top of the cab ride fare, as if it were not going against everything that he seemed to be preaching. i mean, are you crazy guy? you gotta be fuckin' kidding me, fo' reals!

needless to say, i was dumbfounded and oddly enough, calmly amused.

beaming from the inside out, i gave him the money, because hey, even the strongest of us need to make that cheddar. i felt sorry for him, and knew that dude most likely really feel the way he did about things, and was more angry at myself for not realizing that he was entirely human altogether.

ah, the folly of idle chat. i gotta start filming this stuff. it's gold i tell you, gold!


Monday, August 08, 2005

" some of my friends are bastards "


w1nd0z395182: Hey homie dont you ever sleep?

weederman23: who in the what now?

w1nd0z395182: i'll probably never know lol

weederman23: mm

w1nd0z395182: oh crap I forgot my dentist appointment :-\ oops

weederman23: dentist?

w1nd0z395182: really?

weederman23: what?

w1nd0z395182: thats an interesting question, isn't it?

weederman23: am i the only person who is confused?

w1nd0z395182: you are you, and i am myself.

weederman23: yeah, but then again, no one gave me any acid yet?

w1nd0z395182: o kthen

weederman23: right

w1nd0z395182: o hok

w1nd0z395182: where did u go? lol

weederman23: who is this!!!?

w1nd0z395182: :-P

weederman23: hahahahaha

w1nd0z395182: have u ever been skydiving? I want to sometime...

weederman23: skydicing

weederman23: v

weederman23: sky

w1nd0z395182: yae...

weederman23: diving

weederman23: nope

w1nd0z395182: i just got my new laptop today, i'm excited

weederman23: new laptop

weederman23: mm, are these hints?

w1nd0z395182: the stupid phone keeps ringing and i dont wanna answer it, haha

weederman23: ringing phones?

w1nd0z395182: have you tried the new coke with lime? it's pretty good

weederman23: what limeny coke?

w1nd0z395182: i dont remember anymore lol

weederman23: i just heard that in the states, there's coke 'zero'

w1nd0z395182: uh huh... sure lol

w1nd0z395182: where did u go? lol

weederman23: you're starting to worry me

w1nd0z395182: do you have a gf/bf?

weederman23: what?

w1nd0z395182: You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is reading the whole conversation and laughing it up right now! GET EVEN! Have the bot prank all your friends by visiting imprank.ebaumsworld(dot)com

weederman23: jeebus

weederman23: some of my friends are bastards


Thursday, August 04, 2005

" so you've decided to not be an ass: part II "


presumably at this point, you are not an ass. this is a good thing, because i have another couple tasks for you.

if you are in the states, and nearer to one of the two great coasts, and in one of the three areas/art-cinemeccas that continue to define filmmaking distribution underdoggedness, then go see wong kar-wai's 2046. do it.

no, before you think, or think you know, or care, or care to know. just go. go now. it's a beautifully made film that is the end of an era. it is cinema. it is raw, and it breathes. if you come out of the theatre not liking it a bit, you can just be relieved that you spent the last couple hours or so not watching american television.

that's the first task.

the second is to note that maggie cheung is rad. it's true. i dare someone to prove me wrong. and if you actually have the skills to do so, it'll only mean that you haven't yet seen the film "clean," by director (ex-husband) Oliver Assayas.

and the thing is, these are simple things that will make you feel. i can only produce menial inconsequential refunds in the form of untruthful apologies, if you happen to dislike these pieces. but, i gather you won't regret it.

in any case, if you feel like watching them for free, albeit on a TV screen or on my laptop, you'd first have to a) fly to bangkok [rates are higher in august due to what travel agents oddly enough call the "high-season"], b) buy me some groceries [why? because i'm hungry, and you're a guest staying here for free], and c) strap your non-believing ass in for a luxurious ride, cause we're not drifting anymore; we're reeling with the feeling don't stop, continue.


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

" open window night-time "


it's 2:19am, and all along the wide skyline from my condo, i can see all of these blinking red lights adorning the tall metal spires in the distance.

they're all simultaneous and frenetic, like a visual representation of some phillip glass piece set to random.

it seems at times, that all of the red lights are autonomous beings embodied in the existent technology; lost souls residing within cavernous constructions. the ghosts in the machine.

and sometimes, if you let your vision blur a bit, allowing yourself to stare off as if in a daydream, it seems that they are all having conversations.

but, in their secret language of monotone blips and seemingly randomized pulses, inlaid there are glorious things going on, and everything becomes quiet and mysterious.


" everyone's having a better time than us "


weederman23: rusty indeed
rustynai12: whoaaaaa. yes!!!!
rustynai12: and the weederman legend lives on...
weederman23: supper duderman?
rustynai12: stuck in cubicle hell

Your buddy rejected the Live Video session.

weederman23: no live video dealy huh?
rustynai12: nope
rustynai12: firewall
weederman23: cubicles are scary
weederman23: i hate fires in walls
rustynai12: i'm contemplating stabbing my eyes out with one of these red pencils i have laying around
weederman23: ooooh, that'd be gross
rustynai12: it'd teach them a lesson though
weederman23: sure would, although, the cleaning lady'd be awful scornful