Monday, December 31, 2007

" and end to some things "

---

the end of another year comes to pass. a new end, a new beginning.

this past year was one of the tests of your limits. i lost two people very dear to me, and a third is so far away, that even time refuses to be on our side. it leaves this year with a feeling of desire which aches for the time zones to be in-sync for us.

i thought i knew what this year was going to be like. and looking past on this year, it has surprised me in so many ways; lifted me up as well as let me down. as if the days themselves betray you through its cycles.

every new day which came brought with it a sense of questioning whether or not it would be a good one or not. in the latter half of the year especially, i was tested through and through. i feel like i am ready to have 2007 put behind me. tucked away as a good attempt, but not the template.

so this coming year, please be good to yourself and those you love. knowing that every day has endless possibilities, means that we can make every day count.


good luck out there in the new world. show me something great.

happy new year.

---

Friday, December 21, 2007

" on bells and whistles "

---

btmbrkt: i emailed you . nice site

me: the old site is history, archived on my computer

btmbrkt:
it's all cleaned up. nice. new start

me: yeah, i'm not sure that a stark unrepresentative site was good for getting gigs anyways

btmbrkt:
well, i like sites that are not filled with flash and bells and whistles. i want to see the work, the prices, and contact info. I hate sites that make you search

me: i have no whistles sir, no whistles. hahah.

btmbrkt: lotta bells though

me: maybe i can craft together a new secret site just for you
with like half a bell and a harmonica

btmbrkt: the bay eric super secret site of awesome

me: and then in the corner, some guitar hero

btmbrkt:
yeah!

---

" december go-time!! (as promised) "

---

dear all,

happy end of this year and to new beginnings.

i hope that everyone had a fruitful year filled with creativity, interesting projects, humor, delicious foods, odd conversations with odd familiar people, and did at least one thing that challenged your everything.

i myself am so far from most of the people i know, so i have only one present:


after just over a week of not sleeping and hunkering down, i am proud to present the second version of my website, cbaymilin.com

please take the opportunity sometime in the near future to peruse and meander. the work will adjust and change as i keep photographing new things. tell people about the site, and pass it along to any potential interested parties you think may be interested in my work/services.

thank you so much for the support and encouragement. as always comments and questions are welcomed.

happy new year!

your friendly neighborhood photog,

bay

---
everybody needs a hobby.
---

Thursday, December 20, 2007

" the secret sauce "

---

winter brings about a myriad of things including the holiday(s), really cold-looking fake santas with loud bells-a-ringin, shitty chocolates shaped as shitty religious shit, and more!

since i'm no longer under the employ of anyone, i have decided it is time that i hunker down and stave off natural sleep so that i may work on my website which is long overdue for a massive redesign.

never fear, as there will always be plenty of egg nog rummies, hot toddies, wet shoes and socks, and moments of calm wonderment in store for the end of this year. look out interweb, i'm a comin' for yas.

tonight's homework:

get out there and make something, anything, then be proud of it. you are not always what other people may think of you, and that can be a suckerpunch to expectations in the right direction.

---

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

" website update pending "

---

so yes. i find myself with much more free time than i can stand. it's curious how much of my personal time is still spent in front of a computer instead of baking, riding my bike in the park, or updating my website.

in fact, i am going to do all three of those things in the next few days; one of which i did already (the baking one..winter scones if you must know), and i've already designed my basic website layouts inclusive of links and photos. now if i could just learn me up some actual html skills, i'd be almost done with two.

i guess all there is to do now is to pray for no more crummy rain weather, and ride my bike around until my winter tire burns away from my midsection. what?? i like drinking beer. sue me.

or come with, at least that way we can ride bikes together, then eat scones, then surf the web. it'll be fun...that is, if you don't have any work to go to.

sigh.

---

bonus:

i made these!



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Monday, December 03, 2007

" so this is winter 2007 hmm? "

---

how my december begins, a list:

- finally paid off credit card so now i can save up for a computer

- have a new body for my camera, but is exhibiting the purple fringe described by most D80 users...and that sucks

- got laid off at my job due to the writer's strike, and although i support them, i also lost my employment as a result of "the industry" so that's fun

- applied for unemployment and was yelled at by a lady because it was awkward and i was nervous

- it snowed, then rained heavily, then now it's scary windy outside

- this past weekend i drank around 25 beers and made bacon-wrapped scallops with chopped garlic and cracked black pepper; brent suggested dollops of honey which worked out deliciously

- who's looking forward to winter?

---

Saturday, November 10, 2007

" my wasted saturday led to this "

---

weederman23:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q5mlb3Bjzs
weederman23: foreigners
weederman23: hahah

Turnfresh: what in the holy hell?!
Turnfresh: could they have done a worse job, please?

weederman23: i'm scared and confused
weederman23: the kids are scary
weederman23: skiing on nothing
weederman23: skiing on a mountain of lies!

Turnfresh: LOL

---

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

" what do you do for a living, really? "

---

weederman23: i had a drawing freelance job last week
weederman23: i had to sit on a ladder at this billionaire's software anniversary party for rich people
weederman23: draw on a pad of paper, then tear the drawings off and flutter then to the ground
weederman23: it was half cool
weederman23: half humiliating
weederman23: but 2 hours
weederman23: 200 bones plus food
weederman23: good gig

BTMBRKT: hahaha
BTMBRKT: what kind of party was this? Some eccentric billionaire party
BTMBRKT: oh i just read the thing
BTMBRKT: it was an eccentric billionaire's party

weederman23: yeah

BTMBRKT: what kind of drawings?

weederman23: sketches
weederman23: i asked for a paper plate of food to take home, and the waiter said "ugh, huh...where do you think you are? there's a room full of billionaires in there (pointing to the room of billionaires), there's no paper here honey"
weederman23: he was sporting a mohawk too, albeit a short one

BTMBRKT: hahahaha
BTMBRKT: this is great

weederman23: people with vegetable and fruit heads with inferiority complexes
weederman23: and people at the party
weederman23: i had a ball

BTMBRKT: this is a fantastic story

weederman23: and the best part is that it is all entirely true

---

Thursday, October 11, 2007

" Ye Banks and Braes O'Bonnie Doon "

---

Ye banks and braes o' bonnie Doon,
How can ye bloom sae fair!
How can ye chant, ye little birds,
And I sae fu' o' care!

Thou'll break my heart, thou bonnie bird
That sings upon the bough;
Thou minds me o' the happy days
When my fause Luve was true.

Thou'll break my heart, thou bonnie bird
That sings beside thy mate;
For sae I sat, and sae I sang,
And wist na o' my fate.

Aft hae I roved by bonnie Doon
To see the woodbine twine,
And ilka bird sang o' its love;
And sae did I o' mine.

Wi' lightsome heart I pu'd a rose
Frae aff its thorny tree;
And my fause luver staw the rose,
But left the thorn wi' me.

by Robert Burns
(1759-1796)

---

Monday, September 03, 2007

" yessssss "

---

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

god bless (U.S.)america(ns), every one!

---

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

" a converstaion about photography with matt "

---

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
...meaning you have many opportunities to take pictures of anything

sometimes i love the street

sometimes the subway

or the clouds

Matt says:
yeah, NY seems to have an endless opportunity

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
it's a toss up whether to take my camera everywhere

it's about developing your eye for what interests you more than the location

although yes, nyc does offer a wide gamut of potential images

Matt says:
yeah, I assume you have a extremely large bulky camera

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
well, yeah. it's a handful and not that subtle

Matt says:
what kind is it?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
nikon d80

Matt says:
wow, well reviewed

so it's a good camera?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
i dig it...it's still evolving as a camera for me

just yesterday i learned something super awesome about its capabilities for flash, so it's been pretty good so far

especially for me hating on digital for so long

a great investment for sure

Matt says:
do you print them out or mainly keep them digital?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:

haven't printed any of them out yet

just a few headshots for brent and a couple other people

that's the test though isn't it?

haha

Matt says:
hehe, true enough, so you've gone over more or less completly to digital or do you still do a lot of film?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
all of my more personal work is still on film

lot's more medium format than i would've expected though

i haven't picked up my film 35mm camera since i got my digicam

it feels unloved

wouldn't trade it away though, it feels too good to shoot film

something physical

mindful

organic

Matt says:
true, and developing it also

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
you have to take your time with it, and it means more because of the waiting

it creates anticipation and that makes photography an experience rather than an exercise in trouble-shooting

Matt says:
it's true, but who knows, with more development in the technology it may become more of an experience again

we have to work forward to the point from which we came

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
they're inherently different methods and systems of image-making

i'm not sure i still feel the same about digital as i did before i had a digital camera, but the experience of using and utilizing it is still very much a different pace

it's interesting the vast differences in the pace of it

i get agitated and eager when i'm shooting digital
because i'm not "getting the right photo"

Matt says:
how is it different with film?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
you have to trust your eye

and trust your judgment of the composition

there is more time spent of those things which really focus your intent

focus your reason for taking the picture in the first place

Matt says:
it seems like you can shoot digital with the attitude you shoot film, it's all a matter of perspective isn't it?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
it give you a pause and allows you to create something transcendent and independent of the inherent scene

you can, but with the organic nature of film it seems more permanent

there's less of a chance of success and i personally shoot them in a completely different manner

Matt says:
hm, so you have two very distinct styles with each?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:

i'm not sure

i mean, i certainly feel differently towards the way i implement the act of photography with each camera, but i sort of have to believe that whichever camera i used, i'd more or less take a similar photo

there is an imperfection in film though that lends itself to the sort of photos that i like; those ones that invoke a sense of memory and instantaneous nostalgia
the grain, the pattern of diffusion around the edges of the frame
it's an interesting physicality to it

but with digital, it always feels very final, at least until the post production of it

it feels very "fixable"

Matt says:
that's true, but aren't there a lot of things you can do to film as well?

I agree there are differences, major ones at that

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
this is not to say you couldn't take another frame of film to do the same, but digital allows you the virtually endless freedom to readjust on the fly

Matt says:
but I think a large difference is simply in your perception and attitude, it's similar to the difference between records and mp3s

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:

well yeah

but for kids that didn't grow up with records, they of course seem like 18th century relics

there is an attitude of "well why the hell would you consider that?"

Matt says:
well, that's a normal attitude connection with "progress"

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
and i see that rapidly becoming the norm as digital media as a whole permeates the fiber of the way we see the world

true

then again, national geographic is more or less 98% digital and they have kept their level of quality very high in terms of the sorts of images you expect from them
it's very impressive the skepticism, then the eventual wave of digital and how it completely became the standard

Matt says:
it's true, I wonder if professionals take many more pics with digital than with film

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
oh i'm sure they do

any wouldn't they? if they have the confidence, they'd be provided the most opportunity to be able to do their work

over 300 GB's of images to be conservative

hell yeah

why not exploit the technology?

Matt says:
it's true, more freedom, why not?

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
it just makes editing hell

Matt says:
if film and development was free they'd have taken just as many

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:

that's why there's a fight for companies interested to come up with the best and easiest to use software for post production digital image workflow

yes

you can't overlook the plain fact that digital allows for a greater image count with 100% less the cost

Matt says:
haha, we've sold our souls for processing fees mayhap

new york is hottt!!! summer is here! says:
there's always a trade off somewhere

---

" summer is here "

---

new job, new desk.
windows and natural light.

after,
lonely nights filled with editing to keep the quiet spaces at bay.

thoughts of a new day.

turning in my sleep
idle dreams stop abruptly,
stifled and distorted from the heat.

on the windowsill, the a/c
flutters in a caressing cool.

---

Sunday, June 24, 2007

" mermaid parade 2007 "

---

out of all of the possible music available to attach to this video thing, all i could recognize was debussey...so yeah, that's what i chose.

enjoy!



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Thursday, June 21, 2007

" multiple confusions "

---

so what it comes down to is what do you really feel is the "thing to do?" whether or not it's the right thing, or the wrong thing doesn't matter, because there is no correct choice, just the fact that there is a choice.

you spend time weighing the options on where to live, what to eat, where to vacation, what to wear, what to keep, what to trash, who to be with, what number of books to read at the same time while retaining the stories of each, whether to "go digital," where to hang out...it's choices needing to be made in great rapidity and in an increasing amount of time.

it's no wonder i live by my note-taking and planner.

it's a wonder we do anything at all, and sometimes not so surprising when you do nothing all day long.

---

Sunday, May 27, 2007

" the dislikes of the day "

---

- the feeling of wooden ice cream spoons on the bottom of my upper front teeth.

- shirts that i used to love when i didn't have so much love-chub.

- the imminent death of as of yet unfound galaxies.

- past regrets of my teenage self.

- shaving and the inherent upkeep of facial hair.

- the fact that i have no original ideas, and when i do, i find that i actually don't.

- sweaty knee-pits.

- the pain of certain memory and the fear of the future.

- that i love the wonder years so so so much.

- the burn of lactic acid deficiency in my legs when i ride my bike and 12 year-old girls and boys pass by smiling while i gasp and wheeze down the flat paved inner loops of new york's parks.

- my shoes too tight.

- the fact that everything in life that presents a problem does in fact have an answer in one form or another, and how it can worked out.

- long distances from here to there.

---

Saturday, May 26, 2007

" bike fetish day '07 & cycloptic cycling "

---

it's always a curious sensation when after another unexpected "super" bike ride, you find that not only is your head pounding from lack of water, the cramp in your side is still there, but your assbone is "super" hurty.

so ouch!

so, as luck would have it, today was bike fetish day '07 down on havemeyer and grand. it was pretty fun, but i think that i'd of had a better time if i didn't go by myself.

the sun was out, it was all hot and pretty out. there was BBQ and me with no money. there were definitely special edition silkscreened tees, hand-made stickers, and of course, as is the territory, all manner of hipster and hipsterettes fetishists slinging their fixed gears and their bikecessories. then again...i guess i had a beard too.

i decided that since it was so nice out i should at least go on a short ride. to the w'burg bridge!



this time i brought my camera with me, so i made sure to get some shots of the old domino sugar factory, the JMZ trains running along the tracks in the middle of the bridge, and the sign of the bridge all graffitti'd up.

after i got into the city, i guess sheer interest kept me going forward, so i decided to hit up the greenway, and meander upwards towards central park.

after riding with other cyclists from 37th up to 59th, i took a loop around central park. then i felt all tired. then my eyes started to burn all weird and crazy.



then i started to feel all hot and overworked. then i found myself back around the entire park, so i started to ride home.

after i reaches around 54th street, something flew into my eye and i couldn't shake it off. then i tried to rub it off...nope didn't work. the best idea i could think of was to takeout my contact lens and attempt to put it back in, which is the stupidest thing you can do with dirty bike ride hands.

the contact dried out, then fell to the ground, and i found myself cycloptic and had to ride all the way home squinting like a pirate. if you have 20/20 vision, you'll never know the sweet soft focus bliss of near-sightedness, and i hope you never have to experience that when biking through traffic through manhattan.

i guess i made it home okay, but now that i't been hours later, i'm still no less hurty in the assbone area. can someone suggest a new saddle?

bike rides are rad.

---

Sunday, May 20, 2007

" the rides so far "

---

bike ride A-1:

home to prospect park
- this ride was the first time i rode from home to prospect park. i followed the nyc bike map and got there pretty much in an hour.

i met up with brent at his apartment on the west side of the park, and we rode two and a half revolutions around the inner path of the park, stopping to go "off road" or as off road as you can go with a road bike. it was a good ride.

bike ride A-2:

riding around brooklyn
- brooklyn is large. it's like when people say they live in oakland; it doesn't mean anything. it's huge and so multifaceted.

this ride however was from my apartment around the neighborhood, down to hipster central near bedford to have some reflectors fitted on my bike.

bike ride A-3:

home to chinatown
- the first time riding across the williamsburg bridge is going to always be a great reminder of how husky i feel. it was a great beautiful hot sunny spring day, the sky was clouded but clear and bright, and the traffic wasn't that hefty for being the early afternoon on a thursday.

i checked out the bike lanes that need tending to, the old men who gather in groups to play some sort of checkers/go game, and got som sweet treats from the thai restaurant. manhattan is still going to be a city area that is scary to ride around in, but as long as you remain alert and keep your shit/pothole eye on task, you'll be fine.

bike ride A-4:

home to union square
- i wanted to check out the A/P/A annual asian-american awareness fair i manhattan, so i crossed the bridge again and strode through down delancy and up through the lower manhattan city streets. i forgot how freeing bike riding in a city was. everything is instantaneously more alive and interesting.

the fair itself wasn't really conducive to having a bicycle under tow, but i did manage to meander around for an hour or so before heading home of course with complimentary fortune cookies.

bike ride A-5:

home to prospect park
- this time it was old hat. if it wasn't for the hassidic neighborhood school buses and tanker trucks, i swear i could've gotten there in 45 minutes. it took 55, but in all fairness, i was doing pretty good for riding in my usual meandery manner.

it's interesting to note that even though there haven't been that many bike rides so far, or that in fact i can categorize individual rides as events rather than just riding every day... i'm doing pretty good for exercise. i met up with brent. we ate burritos, cause bike riding makes you crazy hungry.

bike ride A-6:

home to prospect park
- brent, dylan, and i planned a bike ride around the park, but right when i got to brent's house, it started to thunder storm. the clouds rolled in and the sky got gloomy and dark; the weight of water was painted across the looming heavy clouds.

i had to leave my bike at brent's house, because i didn't want to get it wet. is that weird?

bike ride A-7:

unexpected bike ride
- i was planning all week for this ride. i planned to go to prospect park and get some revolutions out. but alas, brent had gotten an emergency money-making temp job (on a sunday?) and he had to subway the bike over to me. since the G was all wonky, he actually rode my bike some of the way, which was funny, because he is taller than i and he made my bike look all wee.

i forgot to tell him that he also was riding on near flat tires. of course i scoffed at him for splashing dirty water on the bike hurrying over and riding through rainwater puddles, but then i remembered that i was being anal about the look of it all, and decided to go on an extended adventure ride instead.

i rode from the bedford stop over the w'burg bridge into the city, then up the greenway path up to 37th street where it dead-ends. continued up to 59th st. then over west a few blocks, took the tramway to roosevelt island, and then rested.



it was so beautiful today, i was surprised that it turned out so sunny and lovely instead of the scheduled thunderstorms.



after a slow roundabout on the island, i took the tramway back and bulleted through manhattan down 2nd ave until i reached the greenway and cooled down back over the bridge and into brooklyn. so fun!



i went to check out the status of my ride at nycbikes and of course the wheel needed to be adjusted, the tires needed to be pumped, and i remembered that going from riding a bmx to a road bike is still going to take some time. the funnier moment was when i also realized that i am completely unsure of knowing how to function a bike pump (all innertube spigot thingies are not the same).

after getting home today, i was filled with that whole body tiredness that is the opposite of feeling of laziness. it's that good ache, the welcoming ache...and of course like all wonderful bike ride stories, this one ended with me going to eat a burger.

---

tonight's homework:

ride a bike! it's fun, and you'll feel better about whatever is making you make that face that is all lemony and frustrated. true!!

---

Thursday, May 17, 2007

" i am in a state of wonder "

---

backwards, forwards, and the in between,

it's all full of things,

we've never seen.



up down, in and out, straight up in a tree,

there's no getting away,

from feeling this free.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

---

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

" so many things "

---

so many things have happened, that i cannot begin to detail everything. in short, i'm sure that of the 4 people who actually still expect new content, i'll try my best to list off the things that occurred:

- i took headshots for this young woman which turned out super.

- i was "miscellaneous voice of Thai-speaking person #4" in an ADR session for a Denzel Washington film. look for my voice intermingled between shots of street vendors and crowded bangkokian sidewalks.

- i went to a super sushi party at my friend dylan's house. in fact i fully support any party where you have to build your food. plus for the single people, it's an interesting and delicious icebreaker.

- finally got a helmet, reflectors, and a blinky tail-light for my bicyclette. now all i have to worry about is searching for bike rides. good thing i also picked up the new bike nyc trail map. also, did you know that May is Bike Month NYC?

- since getting a helmet, i've went on an exploratory bike ride to see how it all connects topside almost every day of last week.

- i went to see the stage showcase of the graduating students of the denver acting conservatory. it was stageriffical and dramatic.


and that's what happened. for more information on what's happened feel free to leave comments and questions for this post after the beep, and i'll get back to you as soon as possible.

*** beeeeeeeeeeeep!

---

tonight's homework:

if you have old friends or family members you haven't seen or spoken with in a long time, give them a ring or write to them; each of these moments however short or long, will mean the world to you when they're no longer here.

---

Saturday, April 14, 2007

" thai films is here! "

---

Dear all of you!

Thank you all very much for your continued support for one of my pet projects, the Thai Takes 3: Independent Film Festival. I know all of you have super exciting lives that you are leading, or are working, or have been planning something that you really really wanted to do for the longest time...but...

...if you do have time, please consider coming to the festival this weekend. We are screening films at the Museum of The Moving Image in Astoria, Queens. Filmmakers from Thailand, Areeya Chumsai and Nisa Kongsri will be in attendance for their documentary film Innocence. There will be a chance to interact with them at the Q&A session following the screening.

If you want fictional pieces that have atmosphere, mystery, and provides a closer look into the subtleties of the ever-evolving Thai cinematic experience, then come to see the film Invisible Waves, by Pen-Ek Rattanareung, which is preceded by the first Thai short film selected for the Cannes Film Festival 2006, Graceland, by Anocha Suwichakornpong.

Thank you for your consideration. If yo ushowed up at the opening, thank you very much...I hope my speech was edutaining. If you can't make it, tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend; I'm always happy to meet new people, and what better introduction to Thai cinema do you want? The greatest pieces are all right here in NYC right now!!!

If you are unable to make it to the Museum (remember to check the status of the subways so you don't end up going somewhere else...), please try to check out our website for the film schedule next weekend at the Pioneer Theater in the East Village, Manhattan. Yeah!!!

Hit me up if you need more information, of check out the website. I'll see you there!

http://www.thailinks.org/thaitakes3/tt3_schedule.html

bay

---

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

" brent tells it to me like it is "

---

me: link to this!

brent: weird

me: and sort of awesome? they had an episode with something like that on Northern Exposure once. seems sort of legit to a point

brent:
yeah-ish

me: and this!!!

brent: stop sending interesting stuff! I'm trying to clean my room!

me:
cleaning shmeaning

brent: the hampster thing is truly brilliant though

me: i thought so...makes me feel dumb for getting the super awesome one now but not really, cause the hamster, while cute, would get stinky and most likely die

brent: everything dies.

---

" new bike here now!! " or " how i am severely out of shape "

---

actually, i'm not "in" or "out of" shape at all. rather, i am am just a shape.

i got my super bicycle today, and it rides smooth and sweet. quick to respond and the grips are as comfy as holding onto your sweetheart at all the right angles.

but as i said, my legs are mushy, all of my muscles are oatmeal. my cardiovascular system is really really sad. it's as if my body forgot to tell me that i'm in dire need of some sort of exercise.

bicycling then becomes one of the best ways to work on all of these things at the same time. i mean seriously, i rode from the bike store to my apartment and i was all tired and hyper-extended and sweaty and in a tizzy.

it was really really sad.

but at least i got my bike. which rocks something fierce!

now all i got to do is rally up the fellow bikers and plan a bike ride to freedom!!!

or at least to hamburgers or fish n' chips.

(photos to follow)

tonight's homework:

do fifty sit-ups and push-ups, then stretch, then fall asleep.

---

Saturday, April 07, 2007

" in almost a month "

---

the month in between posts, and oh the occurrences.

film festival is near underway. gray hairs and migraines all around. is it enough to give yourself completely to something and in return, without expecting any sort of reciprocity, begin to wither away into the beast of tasks and redundancies?

the transition from winter into spring has been rough for lack of a more appropriate word.

there were reported snow flurries in manhattan a few days ago; in a time in which by all means mr. springtime-sunny-robin's-nest-tulip-bud should have been on arrival. there is something most definitely amiss, and no one had the time to send me the postcard reminder.

so on and on we all tumble into the future, as the day unfurls itself like a lazy blooming blossom. while i sit in sickness and tissue paper fighting off cranial pressures and scrambling to troubleshoot international print traffic, i remember that this perhaps was what it is all about.

why complain so much when you knew that there could be no hustle, without the bustle?

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

" nearly one month later... "

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- i'm actually going gray again, in patches, on my head!

- instead of hunkering down and looking for a job somewhere that could forward my everyreason why i moved here, i bought a bicycle:

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- i need to eat better or at least, burn off more calories...rapid continuous key-strokes do not count.

- although i made a new planner from custom cut sheets of one-sided graph paper, i still have yet to devise the proper color of pen system that would greatly facilitate in my scheduling organizational methodology.

- i need a nap.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

" in fair brooklyn, where we lay our scene "

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me: you're weird

brent: yeah

me: and i thought that i was weird, but no

brent: yeah

me: you're weird

brent: no, you are too

me: oh?

brent: just different weird

me: like good different? or like awkward different?

brent: no, no god no

yeah, more like that

me: hmmm, i need some cookies and tea

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Friday, February 09, 2007

" i tried amy, i really did "

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well, i didn't win. for some reason, i got all cocky, and instantly deemed my entries the greatest ever ,and i was so so wrong.

but listening to amy on the leonard lopate show talking about slipping children drinks was enough to make up for being a genius loser.

more craft challenges please!!!

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

" yay amy!!! "

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so amy sedaris and wnyc is holding a "craft challenge" whereby you have to put googly eyes on food and send them into their flikr site by tomorrow noon.

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of course i wait until the super last minute with my entries, because:

1) i'm a perfectionist.

2) i found out after i began designing my entry, that i needed a lot of smaller googly eyes, thus making a second trip back to Pearl's arts and crafts store on Canal.

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3) i love arts and crafts, so you have to do your best for the fun of it, and i work best when it's the last minute!

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i hope people like it!!! i cannot wait until friday!!!!

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Monday, February 05, 2007

" knives on the wall are the best accessory "

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what's cooler than knives on a wall?...

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... is what i ask. hmmm?

maybe many knives on a wall; and shiningly so.

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

" first nyc snows for me "

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how can i not giggle as i walk and slip down the sidewalk?; the snow gently swirling and flitting about underneath the yellow lamppost lights.

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it still is amazing to me after being in thailand for so long.

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snow snow snow snow snow snow snowing.

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now i really need to get me some winter gear instead of layering non-water/weather-resistant clothing, in the hopes that i can eke by.

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i think my neighbor saw me taking pictures of the street from my window. maybe she thinks i am creepy. i hope not, because maybe she is creepy, or not.

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but trust me, this snow doesn't taste like something fresh; it tastes like chloride and vinegar.

yay winter.

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

" of ice skating on your birthday and the day after "

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i've turned 27 yesterday.

around midday in fact, give or take 10 minutes.

we went ice skating.



so how is that? 27 years-old doesn't really feel like such a super new thing, except that it's my 27 years old. and that's interesting and nice.

in the past 4 years, i've moved from albany to thailand and back to the states, only to find myself in nyc. aside from living abroad, this has been the longest i've lived not at my house.

and living here has been great.

i've had to sort of force myself to really think about what i treasure, about what i feel is important in work, in life, in interests, and in people, and then really strive to respect those ideals by setting out to succeed. and even though cold is upon us here in the northeast, the looming winter is welcomed.

it's all about the hustle here; how to be making money without selling out, selling out without feeling guilty. taking on jobs that pay no matter how low, setting aside pride and tiredness and having hope that your talents will help you pull through.

i've been an art hanger, a truck driver's helper mover guy of event materials, a hauler, a midnighted event photographer, a data entrant, a headshot photog, and on my off-time a film festival co-director. it's been an interesting almost six months so far.

and it's in this city like none other, where i start to see that there are so many opportunities intermingling with an overwhelming swell of potential failures. so i work that much harder to not just keep afloat, but to make sure i'm always grappling onto a buoy.

it's been a fun and exciting time. i hope that this year, just like every "new" year before it, will allow me the chance to inch slowly towards what it is i am here to do.

let's keep in touch this year.

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Monday, January 01, 2007

" it's 2007 and why is it raining? "

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my fingers are cold.

and it's raining?

and what's up with this sun setting at 4pm thing?

all of these true things inhabit my thoughts as the new year unfurls like an ice blossom unleashed on an overcast day which has fooled me into believing that morning has arrived.

it's a new day.

things always seem that they're likely to change on new year's; as if the day that is new year's creates a clean slate for our faults and strengths to dramatically shift and flex.

we want to be better people, better moneymakers, better lovers, more happy, more awesome, more everything to the Nth degree until there is no comparison between the us's of yesteryears. basically, the new year's allows us to become these new things anew, as if the earth didn't spin and everyday was not in of itself a new year's day.

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i've made tea.

my hands ache with cold. i'm hungry and my stomach agrees with me.

and it's a new year.

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tonight's homework:

make a list of things about the past year that you regret, and vow to never do them again. then make a list of things you wish you had done, and set out from this point forward to see them through. it's not enough to dream and wish and hope; you have to lunge out from the prairielands like a bloodthirsty animal and bite deeply into the jugular of deliberate actions bettering yourself...figuratively speaking. go get em tiger never sounded more attainable.

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happy happy new year 2007.

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