Saturday, February 28, 2004

" on the road again "

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okay.

i know that everytime i get the travel itch, i most likely go to LA. just to spend a few days in that crazy city is almost worth the drive down. i enjoy looking at all of the acres of california produce whirring by in a comorful and bountiful blur. the trees plump with figs and nuts and oranges and all sorts of consumables. it's almost a shame that also along this lazy strip of highway there also is the smelliest passage before the grapevine, the methane cows of I-5.

aaaaaand, i know that i always say i hate LA, but then why do i go there? i can tel you it's not foe the city's excellent fresh air, its world-class public transportation, or its purple sunsets...no. it is the fact that there lives there people that i care about, and i'd rather tolerate the nuttiness of hell-A, rather than sit in my dank pit of a room and fester.

so, i;m off on monday, i'll probably post, and hopefully too, i will have a great time.

here's to travel.

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Monday, February 23, 2004

" sleepy peepy "

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woke up this morning at 2:45pm. i had a fairly okay night full of cleaning up homeless man excrement at work and looking through about the whole lentgh of my life through photograh up until 3am.

right now i am eating for breakfast a bowl of blueberries, some brie and crackers.

aaaaaaand the world is now a better place.

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Thursday, February 19, 2004

" mommy, what's wrong with me? "

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below is what is to be the last of the festival rejection (oops, i mean "non-inclusion") emails/notices i am to recieve for the first try at submitting to festivals. i tried, local, coastal, inland, and international festivals, and it seems unanimous, my work is not good enough.

i suppose i cannot help but feel bad for my work, but it helps stave off the pangs of multiple rejection. some questions come to mind:

what could i have done better?

was it really that bad?

was it so good, it would've overthrown the rest of submissions?

what did they really think of it?

and then i notice a blazing similarity in these questions of film festivals, and relationships at the end of their life.

but whateve, i cannot stop being a filmmaker, so onward ho!

or something optimistic like that.

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195 Chrystie St. #503, New York, NY. 10002 ph: 212 614 2775 / fax: 212 614 2776

Dear filmmaker,

We sincerely apologize for these delayed notices, and thank you for submitting your work to the 11th Annual NY Underground Film Festival.

Unfortunately, the NY Underground Film Festival will not be able to accommodate a screening for you in 2004. Our Festival Selection Committee viewed close to 1400 film and video entries, decisions were extremely difficult, and many examples of excellent work did not make the final cut.

Thank you for considering the NY Underground Film Festival, and we sincerely look forward to seeing work from you in the future.

Sincerely,

Kendra Gaeta
Festival Director

Ed Halter
Executive Producer

Sunday, February 15, 2004

" V.D. "

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and so another one passes, uneventful. i had planned maybe to attend a live reading by a cuppa tea-friend, but sadly it didn't happen. rather, i woke up early and went to looking glass to print for 4 orso hours. it's so immensely theraputic to create and produce, that i nearly forgot the hallmarknessy tinge to the day's tone. alas, as i exited the darkroom and into the light, all i could find on my visual radar was roses, couples fondling each other, kisses, candy ads, bouquets, pink, red and any other representation of love, passion, blood, and sensuality.

but meh. i'm over it as soon at it started and evolved thusly.

i ended the day by visiting my uncles' restaurant to eat brelundinner and then to celedon to sip tea for 3 hours while sketching quietly. and now home at last, it was a beautiful day in spite of the socially encouraged status quo.

i hope you got some some.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2004

" what've you got to give? "

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what am i doing??!?

in terms of artist, i believe i have a plethora of talents. with such a confidence on such elusively concrete terms, i have to be sure to give them my all, my everything. i have no choice, says most artits; true artists have no choice but to creat. call it a drive, call it a lust, call it embodiment of a spirit, it exists, and i am taken by it.

art and exression feuls my every day, and haunts me in my sleep. it softens lifes' blows, eases physical ails, and provides me with those silent multiples of voices and observences that never get audibly shared.

i am a filmmaker, poet, photographer, painter, writer, and more.

i want to do more, see more, experience more. i want to feed on the worlds foods, engorge my whims with ideologies and stories, ride languages like a stream of consiousness, and be able to also inhabit the subtle, the quiet moments, and the tame

it's a tough gig, this life, but every day it seems that i have no choice nut to exist honestly within it, so that's what i am going to do.

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Monday, February 09, 2004

" america's test kitchen "

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so every day goes like this:

- dream a crazy dream

- wake up around noon to 1 p.m.

- eat tins of soup or something equally bad for you

- surf the net for nothing

- think about my validity as an artist

- watch a dvd

- wait until night falls

- go to work at 6 p.m.

- go home at 10 p.m.

- surf the net/eat/watch crap t.v. till 2/3 a.m.

- go to sleep

- have weird dreams

- repeat with a slight variation

blaugh!

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Tuesday, February 03, 2004

" whooogie boogity "

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i purchased a new planner today, and suddenly everythig seems to be falling into place; i'm clearing the clutter that is my room, the clouds are dispersing, and it really feels like the "true" start of this new year.

i almost don't remember that i don't want to be 24 years old at all.

hopefully, this newly-turned leaf can give new vigor to the plant that is my life.


oh yeah, two more things:

1) go to your local comic bookery and pick up Adrian Tomine's Ootic Nerve #9...now.

and

2) i didn't watch or see it, but did janet jacksons breast really flash on teevee in a sundial formation? that is messed the f-up. and funny.

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Monday, February 02, 2004

" do, do do, do do... "

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oh what oh what

am i going to do?

now that the pages of

my day planner are through.

there's no more december,

october or may

how will i ever

plan out my days?

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