Monday, May 29, 2006

" socali is so cali, dude "


southern california needs to stop speeding on the freeways. it's ridiculous.

when you're coming up on a super-traffic jam that spans an entire county and then when you encounter the problem, which turns out to be four cars in a massive accident including women and children and overturned SUV's and too-big-for-humans-to-be-considering-a-normal-sized-vehicle

(deep breath here)

but-bought-and-driving-it-anyways-depite-the-price-of-gas truck, then there's gotta to be something said.

whether it's pretty purple pollution sunsets in LA or another accident just 500 meters down the way on the opposite side of the 5, you all need to drink some chamomile tea and just sit on the sidewalk to reflect on what's really your destination.

big up to kasia for the aquarium day in monterey, big up to seeing jenny a. in some random cafe restaurant in silver lake LA, and big up to san diego for one of the most loveliest sunsets recorded in my mind since returning back to america.

let's hope that the animals at the san diego zoo tomorrow are just as luminous and magnetic.


Saturday, May 20, 2006

" yaymerican: reverse culture shock "


it's all about going to the city, four days after returning. the BART train slowly filling up like a metal grinder; humans the size of wealth and access squeezing into public transportation with their digital-age woes.

it's all about "regular-sized nachos" at la corneta's in the mission, and how it didn't fit into my stomach. regular should mean enough, but for some reason as i return to the states, regular means a portion created out of the need for the most for your buck. this ultimately means consumption of the amount of food that one would not need to be sated, but the amount of food that one feels they deserve because they have money befitting such a gimungously-sized meal.

it's all about excess and skimming off of the surface of things. there is a veil over my eyes as i re-integrate. there are mirrors all around me and no one else sees their reflections.

it's all about all of the noises of american cities rivals even the loudest southeast asian ones. i oddly enough found myself offended the other day by sounds of the english language permeating all the spaces around me.

it's all about these constant new noises which detail just how long i've been away, and the sound of laughing. there are teenagers rollicking in the street, heavy with their newly acquired parentally-guilt-tripped and undeserved gadgetry who move to impress their own above all others.

it's all about trying to always be aware and to find these things that make up what you stand for and who you are, what you like, what you are like, and how you will reflect those parts of you that feel the need to communicate the most out into the open spaces beyond your shell.


it's all about late nights out with old friends. you share memories in wooden rooms. the memories of days past intermingle with a deep interest in "what's going on now with you," and how seemingly more wonderful that is and those are after two beers.

it's in the small things about them. the romanticized versions of your friends that blossom into sketches of people that you love. people that meant something to you at a time, and still remind you that no matter how long you've been away, there are still people that can help reaffirm that it's okay to move forward yourself.

it's all about the commitment to the moment.


Thursday, May 18, 2006

" adjusting "


it's going to take a little while. i can see that now.

the cold that wasn't so cold then, is at such a subtle level, that i find it nearly unbearable.

claratin is over-the-counter. the comicbook store was missing...although later i found out it was to my immediate right.

burt's bees lip balm comes now with honey, which is a nice touch. whole foods still makes big ass sandwiches...although now i'm going to have to factor in spending near $6.50 on a sandwich.

the parkway speakeasy still has great atmosphere, although i had to remember that now that i'm home, i can place my feet on the chairs at leisure.

my new nyc sim card is almost here. i think.

everything is slowly coming into focus, and it's time for some newfound clarity.

welcome home indeed.


Monday, May 15, 2006

" first things first "


see the neighbors, check!

jackets, check!

eat some proper baked goods, check!

photograph nearest person that i said that i would when i was in thailand, check!

grub on a gordo's carnitas burrito, super check!!

get a new cell phone #/plan thingie, uhhhh...

why are all the dudes in these cell phone service provider places dressed thusly? there's something about the pseudo-professional short haircutted, meticulously trimmed or shaven facial hair designs, the usage of slightly-knowledgeable-yet-slightly-condescending language and tones when speaking with (potential) customers.

all i need to do is get the plan that i need, not the suggested one that should be the one that i need. there is no service plan that is necessarily "sexy" or "hot" in the way that could be used when spitting game. and i don't even play the game.

how would it look like if you were chopping it up with some person and they asked you with that i'm-letting-you-know-that-i'm-interested tone, "what cellular mobile service provider do you use, and also what is your plan; one year or two?" i mean it sounds silly, so no sir or ma'am, no. no thank you. i do not require that plan you are trying to sell to me.

and also, everyone knows that no one group of friends all use the same provider, so where then is the incentive to list unlimited nationwide mobile to mobile service as a feature of any plan? it means you're trying to glorify the one feature that is almost trivial.

how many of your friends actually will use the same service provider, or use a mobile phone at all? that feature listed is like those signs at theme restaurants that state, "smiles are for free!" don't you just feel like punching the manager in the neck?

(insert blank stare here)

trying to adjust to americana and sociocultural isms after one day of being back in the states and still slightly jet-lagged, getting there.


" america is sniffly "


so cold in the bay area. coming out of a temperate zone and into a refridgerator. or something subtle and extreme at the same time.

and culture shock! reverse culture shock. boo america for being so overwhelming at times.

i went out this morning to get some baguettes and baked goods and my spot wasn't open. in fact it was so not open, it didn't open until 8am. what the deal is that?

if you were a good bakery that did on-site baking for the masses of people who wanted well-baked baked goods, wouldn't you get up at 2-4am and open up at 6? i think so. and in that vein, i was disappointed to the point where i had to go somewhere else.

so over a pretty decent apple danish of some sort, i'm sniffling my way back into this time zone. gotta get a phone today, which is sad because of the convenience of it. sigh.

we'll see how this pseudo-head cold develops. here's to new adventures abound.


Sunday, May 14, 2006

" home home "


after a fury of packing and stressing and being agitated beyond necessary, i'm leaving thailand for home.

how does one leave home for home?

memories, experiences, dreams, and realities.

coming across these paths again for this time which has past in this way, makes me feel able to continue onwards.

without regret, without anything holding me back.

thanks to all the people who made these things possible.

see you when i get there.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

" mikey likes it "


now i'm usually not one for internet advertising, but this one was just funny enough to catch my eye.

good job evil corporate america. you done one okay.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Tuesday, May 09, 2006

" four more days "


four more days, and many yet to go.

these are the last days for me, here, for now.

how long has it really been? what did i do here? what did i accomplish?

what will i do there, then?

and all the notions of shifts and change come over me all at once.

good-bye thailand. good-bye family. good-bye songkhla, the south, and all of the history there. good-bye second homeland. good-bye origins and veiled answers. good-bye immersion. good-bye humidity in that way that never is replaced. good-bye food and fruits. good-bye large blue skies; larger than anywhere else. good-bye everyone and everything.


in each and every moment from the one previous, you have to decide whether you're going to get going or stay put. and if the moment before can be described as a little over two years, then it is the time for me to get going.

it's time to pick up the pace. time to speak, with action these compiled thoughts of artistry and reflection; to be these planned changes.

it's another step forward, and many to go.

wish me luck i my days to come.

tonight's homework:

write a letter to your friend. whichever one of your choosing. or it could even be a postcard. write to them how you feel about them. how you really feel.

if you were to never see them again. if you knew that they would never hear from you again, save this last communicated piece of writing. what would you say? do this, and be honest, and i promise you'll be closer to each other than you will ever imagine.

it is in these the small movements that we make the most deft impact.


Monday, May 01, 2006

" why even ask? "


1) why is thai pop music so immensely crappy?

2) why do i invariably find myself drawn into the crappy music videos about puppy dog love, rejection, school unrequited romances, and other less interesting fodder?

3) why do i want to purchase and catalog this crappy music for future generations of thai kids, so that they can remember how crappy their pop music was, so that they never ever recreate these crappy songs ever again?

in one sense then, i've come to the conclusion that i'm happy to be returning home soon.