" yaymerican: reverse culture shock "

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it's all about going to the city, four days after returning. the BART train slowly filling up like a metal grinder; humans the size of wealth and access squeezing into public transportation with their digital-age woes.

it's all about "regular-sized nachos" at la corneta's in the mission, and how it didn't fit into my stomach. regular should mean enough, but for some reason as i return to the states, regular means a portion created out of the need for the most for your buck. this ultimately means consumption of the amount of food that one would not need to be sated, but the amount of food that one feels they deserve because they have money befitting such a gimungously-sized meal.

it's all about excess and skimming off of the surface of things. there is a veil over my eyes as i re-integrate. there are mirrors all around me and no one else sees their reflections.

it's all about all of the noises of american cities rivals even the loudest southeast asian ones. i oddly enough found myself offended the other day by sounds of the english language permeating all the spaces around me.

it's all about these constant new noises which detail just how long i've been away, and the sound of laughing. there are teenagers rollicking in the street, heavy with their newly acquired parentally-guilt-tripped and undeserved gadgetry who move to impress their own above all others.

it's all about trying to always be aware and to find these things that make up what you stand for and who you are, what you like, what you are like, and how you will reflect those parts of you that feel the need to communicate the most out into the open spaces beyond your shell.

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it's all about late nights out with old friends. you share memories in wooden rooms. the memories of days past intermingle with a deep interest in "what's going on now with you," and how seemingly more wonderful that is and those are after two beers.

it's in the small things about them. the romanticized versions of your friends that blossom into sketches of people that you love. people that meant something to you at a time, and still remind you that no matter how long you've been away, there are still people that can help reaffirm that it's okay to move forward yourself.

it's all about the commitment to the moment.

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