" it's never just about a bike light is it?"

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i went to the main branch of the brooklyn library today to photograph an exhibit inside. the sun rose high and all around me the heat engulfed and entangled. to step beyond the egyptian-symbol-ed doors and into the wide lobby was cool and welcoming.

after a few hours of setup and documentation, i prepared my things and walked out to my bicycle. and there, in the place of my bicycle headlight, was the brash swipe of tape residue. it had been stolen while i was inside.

the light itself, nothing special. small and compact, broken even, hence the electrical tape used to hold it onto the frame. it wouldn't snap onto the holder, so i taped it down, but i never thought that someone would steal it, especially with it in the condition it was in.

but they did. it is gone.

i stood there for a minute, then just let it go. i let the light go, but i couldn't shake the feeling of loss. it felt like someone had slipped their invisible thieving hand underneath my skin, and pilfered the contents of my being. can you truly just let things go as easily as that?

there is always sadness on a small scale; there is always a pain which lingers. like getting teased at from afar and unknowingly, then to hear about all of the nasty things said about you, the words passing your ears without their knowing...and how you just felt crushed of spirit.

and even though it's just a light, i know it's just a light for a bike, it never just feels like it's about a bike light. it always feels indicative of some larger occurrence, and sometimes it's difficult to let go.

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