" how can you tell? "

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sunday.

the downstairs neighbor's voices echo in laughter which winds down the staircase and out the door; the jingle-jangle of keys follows tappy footsteps.

it's 3:00pm and the sun turns to overcast summerstorms. water comes down in a swift torrent, then dissipates into an overcast sky.

the day is passing by slow, and how can you tell if you're present amidst it all?

it's 6:23pm, and i realize we've run out of toilet paper in the apartment, and the light in the hallway just shuts off for an indeterminate amount of time.

i look in my planner and there's nothing written, so the day defaults to doing absolutely nothing, and making it up as i go along.

it's 9:06pm and there's shitty commercial club-hop emanating from the ride of two boys with horrible hairstylings.

teenagers on the street below talk about relationship problems and juvenile woes.

a plane is flying overhead. i hear the sound of the building's front door opening, ringing out from inside, and mirrored out on the street.

no one is coming to visit me today.

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" short filmmaking is rad! "

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now that i am allowed to distribute this short in a manner my team and i see fit, below please find our short for the 72-hour film shootout 2008, as put on by the aafilmlab in new york city.

i hope that you enjoy it watching it as much as we did making it.

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" the sheer joys of the 99¢ store "

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you know that feeling when you need to get only a tiny kit of assorted small screwdrivers in a glasses-repair-kit form? or a fourth-party energy-saving light, or a transformers/dora the explorer piñata, or anything else that is awesome and random?

that's right, you've just earned yourself an hour-long air-conditioned stroll through the tightly packed slim aisles of your local 99¢ store.

they have everything. well, very nearly everything. any store that has exactly everything is just silly.

i spent a fair amount of time yesterday looking for one of those large 1000 matches box of matches, you know, for candle usage, tea lights, roommate restroom cover-ups, et al. of course i never found them. why would a place that has every single mexican and italian saint on an enormous candle ever, not have matches anywhere? isn't that sort of a complete set sort of deal? i thought so.

aisle after tiny cramped aisle, i found a sense of wonderment at the potential of 25lb. turkey aluminum baking pans, an unusual plethora of gardening & house-ware tools, weird and scary-looking children's DVDs with menacing animation almost guaranteed, and the newest addition to my particular locale, a gallery of spanish-language questionable frozen foods.

i stood in a deep state of indecision, wondering whether or not i really wanted that non-brandname box of plain, powdered, and chocolate-covered donuts. in the end, i had to muster up all of my strengths and move on into the hair dyes section. i can honestly say that i was a little depressed.

but there's a sense of bliss too that stems from not only meandering around in random almost-purchases, it's the people watching. the older lady in her summer muu-muu frock, the hipster guy with that silly tight-legs/skinny-sagging with belt combo and the too-small-for-anything tote bag. it's the chubby kid begging his chubby parent for some crappy junk food, and of course it's the chinese girl yelling at the top of her lungs in mandarin at perhaps a fussy boyfriend, her sunglasses like dark plastic blackened dinner plates resting on a button-nose and a cool-because-they're-fake string of pearls.

you almost can't buy a show like this. just think, our next summer vacation is probably right down the street from where you are right now, waiting to fill your afternoon with an odd-duck sense of fulfilment.

tonight's homework:

take a photo of something completely rad at a 99¢ store, then share it's awesome ridiculousness with everyone!

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" 35 minutes to bliss "

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it took me 35 minutes to ride my bike from 42nd street times square all the way to my front door in windsor terrace. i;m no expert rider with the fancy biker shorts or cycling computer, but that's what i call hustle.

there's such a feeling of glee and freedom that comes with a hard ride. a sort of euphoria that washes over your whole body. it's fantastic!

i hope to feel like this for a long time, but my fear is that it won't.

in any case, wheeee!

for reference, here's a gmap of the ride:

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2072613

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" yeesh, who needs a hug? "

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dear yourself,

i know you're not doing that great as of late. it's a tough gig. remember how you were so excited about those couple photo contests, trying to really be critical of your own work and present yourself openly and honestly? i mean, it's gotta be in the attempt itself which is sort of an accomplishment in of itself right?

i'm sorry. i'm just trying to be supportive. i completely understand if you don't want to talk about it. heartbreak, heartache, feeling husky, not working as much as you'd like, being passionate about your photography, but not getting a proper professional recognition. everyone goes through these waves of doubt and disappointment. something will turn up though right? something always does.

i also really really understand that at times, it truly feels like there's no real point to make an effort anymore, but there is. it makes all the difference to buck up, hunker down, and go for the gusto. any ole normal person can let it all get to them, to push themselves into a funk and not do anything about it. but you're different.

you are going to make it happen. great amazing and fantastical things are going to happen to you. you're great. you're funny and entertaining. you talk a lot, but maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. maybe.

so don't worry. everything will be fine in the end, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. i promise, you'll be fine.

signed,

you from ten minutes ago

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" my summer thus far... "

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dear all my people,

a couple weeks ago, a few friends and i participated in the 72hour film shootout competition, put on by the asian american film lab.

we decided to get off of our lazy butts and put our talents together to craft together something awesome and entertaining.

you can now not only view and appreciate our no-sleep weekend film at the link below, but you can also vote for the "audience award" portion of the competition. you may also leave awesome comments too!!

please pass the link or this post along to any friends you have that would enjoy to see us in our short-filmmaking glory.

thank you so much for your consideration.

if we win, and if you make it out to NYC, i will take you to get ice cream or something.

wheeee,

bay

http://ningin.com/mediastream/item:show/2008/07/02/a-first-good-bye/

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tonight's homework:

follow your dreams.

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