" the sheer joys of the 99¢ store "

---

you know that feeling when you need to get only a tiny kit of assorted small screwdrivers in a glasses-repair-kit form? or a fourth-party energy-saving light, or a transformers/dora the explorer piñata, or anything else that is awesome and random?

that's right, you've just earned yourself an hour-long air-conditioned stroll through the tightly packed slim aisles of your local 99¢ store.

they have everything. well, very nearly everything. any store that has exactly everything is just silly.

i spent a fair amount of time yesterday looking for one of those large 1000 matches box of matches, you know, for candle usage, tea lights, roommate restroom cover-ups, et al. of course i never found them. why would a place that has every single mexican and italian saint on an enormous candle ever, not have matches anywhere? isn't that sort of a complete set sort of deal? i thought so.

aisle after tiny cramped aisle, i found a sense of wonderment at the potential of 25lb. turkey aluminum baking pans, an unusual plethora of gardening & house-ware tools, weird and scary-looking children's DVDs with menacing animation almost guaranteed, and the newest addition to my particular locale, a gallery of spanish-language questionable frozen foods.

i stood in a deep state of indecision, wondering whether or not i really wanted that non-brandname box of plain, powdered, and chocolate-covered donuts. in the end, i had to muster up all of my strengths and move on into the hair dyes section. i can honestly say that i was a little depressed.

but there's a sense of bliss too that stems from not only meandering around in random almost-purchases, it's the people watching. the older lady in her summer muu-muu frock, the hipster guy with that silly tight-legs/skinny-sagging with belt combo and the too-small-for-anything tote bag. it's the chubby kid begging his chubby parent for some crappy junk food, and of course it's the chinese girl yelling at the top of her lungs in mandarin at perhaps a fussy boyfriend, her sunglasses like dark plastic blackened dinner plates resting on a button-nose and a cool-because-they're-fake string of pearls.

you almost can't buy a show like this. just think, our next summer vacation is probably right down the street from where you are right now, waiting to fill your afternoon with an odd-duck sense of fulfilment.

tonight's homework:

take a photo of something completely rad at a 99¢ store, then share it's awesome ridiculousness with everyone!

---