" august possiblilities "

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it's the end of the first week of august. the days aren't so hot as they are questionably thunderstorm-prone.

still i have a small fan, which is strapped to my bed, humming me to sleep at a low frequency; the droning on of the whirs putting me to sleep with a gentle steady breeze.

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today i cut myself shaving. i let the cut bleed from my jaw. it's line split and expanded as it trickled down the length of my neck and onto my upper chest. i studied it's path, let it meander a bit, then wiped it from memory. if only so many painful things could just be wiped away thusly.

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i spent a good part of yesterday morning decorating a box which will house the myriad of various 1" buttons i've crafted for fun. now along with the creative joys the making of buttons brings with it, i hope to extend it's life by selling it to various strangers on the street this sunday. come to visit my table if you wish (L train to Bedford, walk to that odd trianglular block at N. 3rd & Metropolitan, noon to dusk-ish).

this past tuesday i had a test run for my sales. it was late in the day and i hit the street with a friend of a friend right in between the home-commute and the dinner-out times.

an old man was the sole buyer of the entire evening, and he stood over the buttons like a loitering collector; unable to decide what he was really doing there - buying or creating conversations to pass the time. some people just like to talk to strangers. luckily for him, when you talk to a seller of buttons on the street itchin' for a sale, conversation comes easily.

he bought all of my panda-themed ones, and two special edition thai bus ticket ones. he seemed pleased, but i'm not sure he appreciated them as much as i did. i guess that's a normality i may have to get used to.

i made a total of $11.00 and i rode my bike a total of 10 miles there and back home.

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so many things are in transition. the day camp across the street from me seems to be less groups of small sweaty screaming children, and more busses carting said children to exciting faraway field trips.

i never got to go to summer day camps, so i can only guess that they're having a great ole time doing all sorts of exciting things. at least i hope they are.

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i've recently rediscovered the simple pleasure of fresh fruits in cereal. there's nothing like adding blueberries and strawberries to a crunchy delectable bowl of O's, flakes, or clustered deliciousness. it can make a morning indescribably bright no matter the weather.

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so change. forever there will be change. living on the east coast now for as long as i have been here, has constantly reminded me that there are actual seasons. when living in the east bay area of northern california and/or in the whole of thailand, you see and feel fewer distinct seasonal shifts.

i find that more than the steady patterns and the interesting observations of weather and clothing choices, having these seasons be so distict effects my mood and energy like never before. one could say this year so far i've had an energetic winter, a somber spring, and an emotional sort of summer. in this light, i now wonder what sort of fall it will turn out to be.

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tonight's homework:

get a piece of paper and make two columns. write out a list of all of your current dreams and desires as of yet unfulfilled in one, and in the other a list of accomplishments.

think for 20 minutes of how you can move items from your dream-list column over to the accomplishments column.

do not be afraid to ask a friend for help in setting about to do so. call me if you need to. i'll be working on the same thing.

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