" backpacker shmackpacker "

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dear neo-traveler-enthusiast hippies that refuse to wear deodorant because you and your partner thinks it kills baby seals somehow,

sometimes i think that the priority focus on tourism within the past 8 years since the economic crippling of south east asia, has had a terrible socio-cultural repercussions:

the tourism-crutch and rampant backpacker couture.

now, this of course is not to say that there weren't smelly, hippie-leaning, super non-showering, couples with dreaded-when-under-no-circumstances-their-hair-should-be-dreaded-at-all-ever hair styles, sorts of people passing through this part of asiabefore that period of time, but it all just seems so beside the point. am i wrong?

first of all, should the fact that it is a humid-tropical-weather-system-sort-of-geodynamic country give you a clue that you should at least consider a shower if not three a day? i think that it should, and that you should shower. FACT!

i believe that the drastic temperature and climate change should be a blatant clue, if not a prime reason for such personal grooming methods to shift as well.

secondly, i know i know i know that they love their newly purchased for a dollar/euro flowy pants, stringy open-buttoned hemp shirts with those easy-to-use-but-don't-for-some-dumb-ass-reason clasps, and those hill-tribe side bags that have elephants on it, but come on. fo'reals yo! the fashion itself should not be an all-encompassing uniform among the travelers of the world.

better yet, just come at the heat as would any normal person. thin cotton tops and pants that are not heat-creating. the point being: just because you see all of the other traveler's exhibiting their fine buying skills, does not mean that you automatically have to follow suit. and don't wear next to nothing at the temples, you just look disrespectful and stupid. like, really stupid. FACT!

lastly, for the purpose of this rant. wash your hair man! dreads, while holding certain theological and cultural meanings in some of the worlds major religions, does not really make sense in this country. sure hip hop has hit the streets of thailand, but these kids haven't done their history! don't encourage them, it's gross and uneccessary.

they don't even know what the hell dreads are beyond an expensive (or in the backpacker-hell tourist hot-spots, affordable) fashiony style-statement. it just ain't right, and is not really that conducive to your personal hygiene and/or your satisfaction as a "true traveler" through these parts. really, it's not chic, it's smelly. FACT!

i along with many people have noses, it's true. we just don't want to make you cry in front of your partner. or get punched in the face for speaking truths.

so, for the love of whatever you hold sacred: shower, be true to your own expression, and don't dread your hair, unless you mean it beyond the moment of hey-that-sounds-like-a-good-idea. it makes you one of "them," the many who are just shunned and spoken of behind your back.

sure we thai people are smiling at you, but unless you've done some of the required cultural research beyond your lonely planet/fromer's/travel guidebook, you're just not really learning anything. that and you look silly. unless that's how you look when you're at home...which you might, but still.

yours truly,

the ashamed for you thai guy

ps- just because you can get drunk and act like slovenly assholes and make out in public or purchase a girl of the night, doesn't mean that you should. just a clue. thanks for taking the time, even though you'll probably never change.

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