how can i not giggle as i walk and slip down the sidewalk?; the snow gently swirling and flitting about underneath the yellow lamppost lights.
it still is amazing to me after being in thailand for so long.
snow snow snow snow snow snow snowing.
now i really need to get me some winter gear instead of layering non-water/weather-resistant clothing, in the hopes that i can eke by.
i think my neighbor saw me taking pictures of the street from my window. maybe she thinks i am creepy. i hope not, because maybe she is creepy, or not.
but trust me, this snow doesn't taste like something fresh; it tastes like chloride and vinegar.
so how is that? 27 years-old doesn't really feel like such a super new thing, except that it's my 27 years old. and that's interesting and nice.
in the past 4 years, i've moved from albany to thailand and back to the states, only to find myself in nyc. aside from living abroad, this has been the longest i've lived not at my house.
and living here has been great.
i've had to sort of force myself to really think about what i treasure, about what i feel is important in work, in life, in interests, and in people, and then really strive to respect those ideals by setting out to succeed. and even though cold is upon us here in the northeast, the looming winter is welcomed.
it's all about the hustle here; how to be making money without selling out, selling out without feeling guilty. taking on jobs that pay no matter how low, setting aside pride and tiredness and having hope that your talents will help you pull through.
i've been an art hanger, a truck driver's helper mover guy of event materials, a hauler, a midnighted event photographer, a data entrant, a headshot photog, and on my off-time a film festival co-director. it's been an interesting almost six months so far.
and it's in this city like none other, where i start to see that there are so many opportunities intermingling with an overwhelming swell of potential failures. so i work that much harder to not just keep afloat, but to make sure i'm always grappling onto a buoy.
it's been a fun and exciting time. i hope that this year, just like every "new" year before it, will allow me the chance to inch slowly towards what it is i am here to do.
all of these true things inhabit my thoughts as the new year unfurls like an ice blossom unleashed on an overcast day which has fooled me into believing that morning has arrived.
it's a new day.
things always seem that they're likely to change on new year's; as if the day that is new year's creates a clean slate for our faults and strengths to dramatically shift and flex.
we want to be better people, better moneymakers, better lovers, more happy, more awesome, more everything to the Nth degree until there is no comparison between the us's of yesteryears. basically, the new year's allows us to become these new things anew, as if the earth didn't spin and everyday was not in of itself a new year's day.
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i've made tea.
my hands ache with cold. i'm hungry and my stomach agrees with me.
and it's a new year.
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tonight's homework:
make a list of things about the past year that you regret, and vow to never do them again. then make a list of things you wish you had done, and set out from this point forward to see them through. it's not enough to dream and wish and hope; you have to lunge out from the prairielands like a bloodthirsty animal and bite deeply into the jugular of deliberate actions bettering yourself...figuratively speaking. go get em tiger never sounded more attainable.
