Sunday, June 28, 2009

" the saddest dream tonight "

---

i was splashing in a city swimming pool with a friend. the pools all lay in long rows along the main canal, so if you want to swim to work, you can just hop over a shallowed connective area, and float down to your eventual destination.

my friend decided that he wanted to follow these two girls down to the mexican transit portal. i was pretty adamant against the activity, but decided to go along because he wanted to check these ladies out so bad.

their names were sandrine and julia(na), and were studying in mexico, but vacationing. they looked luminous and radiant in the dark waters of the main canal. we floated for a time, and eventually made it to mexico.

the mexican portal canal was deeper and had turbines underneath the waters which produced electricity for the homes which lined the outskirts of the city. my friend gave me a weighted look and slinked off to some canal-alley to talk to sandrine.

julia beckoned me to float down the river to show me something, and i obliged. i did some water somersaults, and could hear the deep resonant sounds of the turbines below. i asked her what happens to the water that gets diverted from the canals here in mexico, and she decided to show me.

she took me to this secluded pool of the darkest blackest waters off to the side in a cordoned-off courtyard. i was unsure, but she seemed so confident, so i followed. we snuck into the pool through an exposed opening in the circular fencing. lowering ourselves into the murkiness, i felt an overwhelming sensation of pleasure and happiness clutching the core of my body, then echoing throughout every nerve.

she said that this was the secret of the turbines; the production of the electricity for the people had produced these magical healing waters that were so powerful, that they had to be removed from the main canal, so that the government could retain a semblance of control over the people.

she said that access to such pleasures, feelings of power, light, confidence, and happiness created unrest and dissatisfaction.

---

we lingered in the pool for a short time longer, then heard a shuffling of feet coming from a nearby alleyway.

she motioned me to get out with a worried look on her face, and i rushed to the opening in the fence; she was right behind me. as i passed through the threshold of the fencing, someone shone a bright light into my face, and then over to julia, who was half in, and half out of the fence. she was caught.

the person with the light turned out to be a member of the secret police, and they took her away from that pool. the look on her face was utter despair, heavy with the knowledge of what this meant.

the dream itself shifted and time passed on. i became a vapor spirit that followed her, and she felt my presence, but didn't dare look to me.

she was put in a jail, and forced to weave complex patterns into small swatches of material for handbags. it was the slow monotonous punishment that given to those who committed crimes of the heart.

---

after years went by, the stack of swatches grew more higher in the corner of her spacious emerald green and copper rust cell. the patterns more lush and bold; the geometric shapes and lines creating whole universes of escape for the mind, but never for the body.

one of the guards offered her a beautiful leather handbag with turquoise stones sequined on the face of the main flap, silver stitching creating beautiful pathways through the stones, and a silver clasp which looked like a wave or the wing of a manta ray.

it reminded her of the beauty in the world so far away from this one. it reminded her of the waters of the canal that she loved to swim in, and her friends. it reminded her of me and wondered if i was okay. it reminded her of how she would never be allowed out ever again of her own will.

knowing that she didn't love this guard as much as he regarded and favored her, she took the bag to win his favor, but not his advances.

---

many months later she saw an opportunity for escape. the guard, having finagled his way to be her sole watcher, offered her a chance to leave her cell if she would marry him. julia said yes, knowing this would be her last chance, but she never meant to fulfill his wishes.

he blindfolded her and took her out of the cell. she could feel sunlight on her skin and she began to cry. they began a transit that took her far away from the cell. with every minute which passed, she could feel her strength returning. it felt as if a great weight of a thousand horrific nights were lifting off oh her shoulders.

the car stopped and he let her out of her seat. she could hear the unmistakable sound of waves. the vibrant sting of salt chemistry hit her nostrils and she inhaled as deep as she could.

unable to control herself, she started running to the noise. the guard's hand was holding the blindfold. and it tore away from her face. she stumbled in full motion towards what she could see now was the sparkling beauty of a clear ocean. it was an overwhelming sight which was immediately desired.

as she hit the edge of the water, her feet sinking into the shifting sand below the waves, she heard two loud noises behind her.

a great weight built up inside her chest and shoulder, and it felt as if everything in her body ceased to function. she fell in the sand with her full weight, and she held her hands to her torso, revealing a blooming wound. the guard had shot her and was wailing loudly, tears running down his cheeks.

she smiled slightly knowing that he had perhaps meant well, and could see the humanity though his ever-present cruelty. she forgave him in her head, and she died among the overlapping clear waves.

---

i was an old man now, having been sent back to my life, my punishment was to lose 50 years of my life to old age. the portal had been tweaked to age me to the point where i would never return.

and they were right, i never returned; the pain of that night so constant and yet the meaning so elusive.

i was attempting to cook something that i had prepared the night before. opening the door of the refrigerator, i was met with the stench of rotting food. what was once a clean and fresh dish of food was all now green and held a deeply earthy scent of detritus and moisture.

as julia lay on the edge of the ocean, her life leaving her, i felt her ghostly hand on my shoulder. all that pain revived within her touch, no longer soothing, and i knew that she had passed into another world.

i stood there in my kitchen, staring into the emerald abyss of the now rotten jungle of food. julia's spirit lingered in the dark corner of my empty home, her haunted spectral presence locked in a constant state of sorrow and mourning.

---


---

No comments: