Sunday, September 19, 2004

" so do it already "

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a note to my lack of confidence:


go.

"do it," you say to yourself.

you're sitting in the emptiness of unfulfilled dreams, floating and aloof. there are so many sounds and textures outside your silent calm vacancy.

the conflict of being passively forwarding or aggressively non-active. both provide little energy or prove to be that effective.

what's the excuse anyways? you see your goals, so go for it.

as your friend said:

Daffie26: so what does your timeline look like for Thailand
weederman23: stay till next may, then see how it goes from there
weederman23: i actually made a plan loosely last night
Daffie26: wowee
weederman23: see how it goes for maybe another year after this one but i dunno
weederman23: sometimes it the feeling of being very lost that makes you want to meet the challenge of staying here
Daffie26: for how long?
weederman23: like another year
weederman23: so two years? i don't know
weederman23: it's how i feel, but i also sometimes feel like coming home
weederman23: i dunno
weederman23: i'm conflicted
Daffie26: i don't think you need to decide now.... do you?
weederman23: not really
weederman23: it's just sort of how i felt for the past few
Daffie26: what do you miss?
weederman23: people
weederman23: cafe's
weederman23: the smell of the ocean
weederman23: idle conversation
weederman23: holiding hands and hugs
weederman23: late night beer runs
weederman23: darts in pubs
weederman23: fast internet
weederman23: sleeping with friends
weederman23: my darkroom
Daffie26: :-)
weederman23: and it could go on
weederman23: but it doesn't need to


don't be sad, or regretful, or depressed, or frustrated. it's going to be okay. you're doing yourself good here, and it'll pay off in a big way, i promise.

don't worry, it's going to be just fine.

bees

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