" crying in the dark "

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eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

you sit and wait to be entertained, and lo, here comes the onslaught that is kaufman and gondry.

you cry internal to the external. you shudder and laugh. you begin to realize that love is just as blissfull and as painful as our grasp on reality. it wanes and refuels, it bends and shifts, it becomes truth and it causes distress.

and yet i cannot help but feel for these two lost people. i want them to be able to overcome all of this pain and hurt and memory, so that i can feel that i can overcome anything that i may go through.

i want to love and give love and recieve love and be happy and make others happy and safe and important and feel rage if i am in a fit and feel hurt when i in pain.

these are the important things that i want to explore and share and observe and study and engage and be about.

what else can you do for me?

what can you do for yourself?

if connections that are so elusive become obsessive desires and warp our beings in the plight for it, that eternal "it," then why do we seek it so fervently?

and the answer is always the same.

i just cannot help myself. i am in love with being in love.

bay to all...


...ps-i leave on thursday, so you're all going to have to learn to survive out there without me for a tic.

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