" the silence of speaking "

---

coming here
wanting nothing but
be able to communicate with
my people; Thai people,

and then not being able
to say
one thing

not one
word.

i stand before them
inanimate
and stunned;

mouth agape
and slackjawed.

shame searing
across my blushed face.

to realize you are
a fraud, is a
devastating feeling;

even your face
gives you away.

each tone, movement, action,
and reaction all
betray me here,

and these social wounds
cut deep inside,
until i am left to do
nothing,

but be a twenty-four year-old
man
yet remain and feel
helpless and
vulnerable;

a newborn among
the masses.

---