" the short-long of wanting to be loved by your potential graduate admissions program "

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there is within, a ferocity and a rage which sways back and forth, like a swelling tide welling up all around my chest. there is a hunger inside of me. it's feeding and leeching vital nutrients out from my body.

all of a sudden, i cannot sleep properly. it feels like my mind is reeling and racing; the thoughts coming into my conscious self all stuttered and a clutter.

there is the feeling of an immense weight upon the whole of my being. its dense volume immeasurable, and looms o'er with an unemotional consternation. it crushes me with a slow deft ever-encroaching blow.

there is nothing anyone can do to alleviate my stresses, as they are all self-inflicted. who can tell one person anything that will change these feelings?


it must be the proper words that could set loose any melancholy anchors. the proper whispers, and the proper touch.

i want to lash out, scream into the night until there is no voice left, shadowbox with unseen villains, claim a victory.

all of a sudden, i feel open and willing. navigation of this space is so unnerving, to have to put yourself out there for all to see and judge.

and yet it needs to be done. how will you ever know if you don't come out and speak your mind; if you don't speak your heart. all is never lost, even while time is fleeting.

i need a hug.

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