" of ebb and flow "

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the mother of a childhood friend has passed away.

how many times had their lives crossed my mind in the years since we moved apart from one another? how many past moments did we share together? did we laugh together, cry together; how many times did we hug or hold each other?

i'm reaching an age where the convergence of the idyllic dreams of adolescence, and the very real-world realities of ever-present adulthood are most definitely meshing. there are times when i feel that my life is passing me by, and i only at certain times access it fully.

most times, i feel as if i do know what i want of my own life, but then realize that it's such a multi-platformed climb up through the obstacles of how everything seems to manifest.

there are no magic powders. there are no small doors leading to a world of mystery. there are no more conversations left between certain people, no more words, and no matter how hard we love them, none of them will stay forever.

so then, being honest with this time we do have left is a thought. using every moment we have before us, to create a sense of wonder, a sense of the infinite, is always a vibrant reminder. if this time is to be of a finite manner, then i choose to make the most of it.

to my old friends and their mother, i hope that they knew that even though we were so far apart, they did pass through my my heart's mind often, and that they were and still are loved.

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" bay gets a summons for riding his bike in the park after dark "

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sorta b.s. and they know it.

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" photo expo aftermath "

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every year since i've lived in new york, i've tried to make myself available to attend PDN's photoplus expo. given the proper heads-up, you can register for attending the expo's main floor for free. it's probably one of the most fun expo's to attend, if you dig photography.

i love the toys aspect of it, the software and hardware presence, the free rolls of film from kodak, the free sheets of paper for epson, the pens, the magazines and gear guides, the other photonerds that also believe that they're the only one that understands what is going on.

even though it was rainy and crummy outside, the interior of the main floorspace glistened with shiny camera bodies of all sorts, and the layout of booths were all enticing in their own ways. and as always, there are too many dudes taking pics of the models at the nikon booth, too many young girls with goth-attitudes and severe stares, and too many baseball cap/photo-vest combinations.

this year, it was a special treat that i got to actually attend with a few of my fellow classmates. a couple seminars and a couple hours of roaming around with someone, really brings it home that you have similar interests with people who care about their craft.

and all at once, you have a moment where you find that you  feel as if you are heading in a direction, along a path which you've been searching for, for so long. there it is ahead of you, and it sort of beckons to you to have the courage to walk it.

click click, snap snap, ker-chick, whirrrrrr.

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octobre 22:

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octobre 25:

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" so many things "

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so many things going on in class. so many terms and charts. so much noise deconstruction, so many discussions on chromatic aberration.

so many pages to read. so many flashing of my student ID card to get into buildings across the street from each other. so many printer, camera, and color profiles. so many nights thinking about the digital nature of color.

so many pieces of software and hardware. so many driver issues. so many bits of information floating around looking for a landing. so many opportunities to learn and be creative.

so many moments that are wonderful.

so many things.

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octobre 14:

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octobre 21:

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" mosquitoes are bastards "

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basically, mosquitoes have been biting me in my sleep and while i sit at my desk. they bite me, suck out trace volumes of my blood, and leave me unable to sleep properly or fully.

there are large sections of my entire body that is covered with bites. they itch and itch and itch and make wearing shirts uncomfortable.

i have bites on my fingers and toes, on the bottoms of my feet, on the creases in my palms, behind my ears, on my temples, on my neck.

it's truly an excruciating and annoyingly painful state of affairs.

so for the rest of the time i see and hear these near-silent flying bloodsuckers, i will set aside my theories of reincarnation, and slap them bastards into paste.

ouch. i just got bit in my knee-pit. what the fuhhh!?

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" the eventual death of my sillyawesome mustache "

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it basically started as a retaliation; an affront to a fellow mustachioed friend. his mustaches sheer power was so intensely offensive to me for some reason, that i told him how it caused me pain to be in it's presence.

and perhaps it wasn't as offensive as all that. and maybe it was perfectly fine. and maybe my reactions were too harsh.

however it happened, in the moment of it all, i decided to grow my own mustache. just to show him how offensive it could be. just to show him that a mustache on a friend would be just as offensive.

mustache-growing aside, it has been a great experiment. it's been now almost a month, and i believe he life of this mustache has run its course.

it is no longer fun to upkeep, and with the encroaching colder weather, it is now apparent that i'd need to double-stock tissues when it's sneeze season. one for the act, and one for the cleanup. boo.

so, to my mustachio, i bid adieu. it was a time, as all times that are special are. this version of my mustache shall live in memory and in the hearts of the people it offended. i hope my friend will eventually forgive my (mustachio) trespasses, and i have now learned to forgive his.

to adventures in facial hair! hurrah i say, hurrah.

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" ergonomics and the art of finishing homework "

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when i moved into my current apartment, i made a decision that i would get a sweet ergonomic chair to sit in. i work from home and do a loooot of sitting at my desk.

i figured that if i were going to spend long periods of time at my desk, i should get a comfortable chair designed for sitting for long periods of time.

my mom had many issues with sitting at her job as a computer programmer in the late 70's throughout the early 90's, and she still deals with bodily pain stemming from inadequacies in her office chair. no one thinks that a crummy chair will be a factor in the sensation of long-term aches and pain.

to date, i haven't yet bought a new chair, partly because my roommate found a pretty nice cushiony office chair on the street. it has 5 caster wheels on its base, a height adjuster, and a backrest that can extend up and down.

it's fairly basic, but i'm starting to feel it's not enough. i recently attended an ergonomics in the computer workstation lecture, and since then, i have been geeting all sorts of aches and pains trying to sit better. i've pretty much adjusted all of the things on my desk and workspace area, but now it is my chair that seems to be the culprit.

"damn you street chaiiir," i scream in my head every time i feel a twinge in my upper/lower back, or my elbows start to ache after typing for a few minutes, or my wrists hurt from being at a lower angle, or my legs fall asleep.

i suppose i should hit up the chair-mart or seat store to get something more adequate, but i cannot at the moment, because my butt has fallen asleep.

sigh.

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octobre 10:

octobre 11:

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" and the trumpets sounded "

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i recently purchased a new printer for my studies. it's pretty much the largest piece of hardware in my room now.

i look at it from down the hallway as the soft light coming in through my bedroom hits it in it's morning angles.

in the morning, i can see it from a bird's eye view from over the edge of my loft bed. or out of the corner of my eye, basically at all times, when i am seated at my computer workstation.

it's a black and gray/silver behemoth that weighs in at approximately 43 pounds, and it pretty much is something that i need for school and beyond.

if it made smoothies, i could say that it would be the peak top super amazing thing i own. because of the lack of that feature, i have to relegate it to being plain amazing.

plainmazing.

all in all, i'm very happy to be able to finally print something out, be it a contact sheet or an actual print. we'll see if down the road, i can make the smoothie thing happen, cause that would be fairly boss.

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octobre 06:

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" ladies and gentlemen, it has been a time "

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certain roads and paths entice us to follow them. they beckon on in whispers and coos, while we traverse parallel avenues. we meander down these shaded lanes, hoping to explore more and possibly find ourselves in a new realm of understanding.

i've been afoot on one of these said pathways, and have found delightful things along the way. i apologize for not touching base with you 5 readers for quite the long time, but as i'm sure you understand the nature of exploration, it can lead us astray, and it can also lead you back home.

to the anchors, to the touchstones, and to the unknowns through the trees, i have seen a soft light in the distance.

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