" it's so heavy "

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and all at once you realize that this is your life.

it's a couple hours until the first day of the last month of this decade. it's all gone by so fast. and even faster recently, on account of my schooling.

it's sort of interesting how your life comes and goes in shifts, in tides, in strides. somehow it all meshes together, like the waning clarity in the afternoon of a winter day as it turns to nighttime at 4:00pm.

focusing so much on the technical side of the craft, that you forget about honing the eye. focusing on the eye of the craft so much, that you forget about backing up data. focusing on researching on how best to backup the data so much, that you for get to eat.

it's full of crazy, and yet here i am. on the cusp of the beginning of the end of a beginning.

it's not enough to keep reading about it. it's not enough to keep mulling over the thought of it. it's not enough to ponder it, or doubt the process of it.

the eternal and inescapable quality of its potential to exist, is enough to meet it at the crossroads of the path, and see what it can teach you. you can trade your time or your soul for that sweet sweet image, and it'll forever haunt you, or take care of you.

how cryptic then, is this vocation? how can you choose to pursue these moments when they remain so elusive? and how can i not at least attempt to be truthful to the process, when i know there are so many riches therein?

who needs a drink?

tonight's homework:

look, look, look.
shoot, shoot, shoot.
backup, backup, backup.
edit, edit, edit.
archive, archive, archive.

eats something, drink something, then smile.

you're amazing.

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novembre 22:

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