" offered dreams" or " facing the platter "

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when the opportunity arises, will you be able to recognize it?

the potential dream, handed to you on a platter-of-sorts, sits in front of you speaking the language of everything you wanted to hear from a person with the ability to grant you everything. shiny, warm, comforting, exciting, and unexpectedly full of anxiety i find myself feeling.

today i met up with the managing director of a small filmhouse production business here in bangkok. it seems very legit and has produced a few thai films that i happen to enjoy. this is saying a lot. this is saying, there is hope. there is a possible direction.

the man told me his concept for the films that they choose to pursue, and stressed the need to understand exactly what it means to try and produce films here in the existing studio system.

he is full of passion it seems and talking to him really helped me come to certain realizations of what could very well be my next steps here.

we talked of ideology, dreams, work experience, language, and the possibility of me starting to work for the company. it really helped that i have an "in" through family contacts.

in fact, this is the most progressive meeting i have had since coming to thailand; even since heeding every word from one of my heroes, filmmaker apichatpong weerasethakul.

this is the crossroad.

this is the time of decision-making and risks; the test of one's dreams. i find myself unable to gather all of my thoughts together proper, so i will just have them simmer in the beautiful soup of indecision, while i contemplate the proverbial 'what am i to do?'

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