" the curious middle path "

---

you'd ask me what i thought of the past year, and the road ahead, and i'm not even sure what answer i'd be able to give you.

i do know that i'm still trying to figure it all out. i know that i'm feeling further and further from a love that i felt defined my newfound confidences, and now it seems that without it as a constant in my life, i've been lesser-than ever since.

i know that i have people all around me who see in me something special and noteworthy, but whether due to personal motivation or lack of doing that right thing that you're supposed to do, it just didn't happen this year.

so then what are we left with to do? the moment. this moment? the ever-present current moment, dictating to us its needs and desires, its wants and its ire. i'm not sure what it is i'm going to do or accomplish this year, but because of the meandering year that 2008 has turned out to be, it represents full well that many things can go great and forwarding and positive, while the end result feeling overall can still remain mediocre and less-than.

i don't want to feel like < anymore. i want to be proud of myself and happy with the exploratory nature of my work. i want to do so many things, and have people know that i'm good for it; that i'm well worth the time and effort...that i can hear to the core of them, and i understand.

and whether or not tonight represents this shifting change of focus or not, it represents a pause in time where i noticed certain things amiss in my life, and how i could potentially make the upcoming year better.

so, so long 2008. you weren't the bestest year so far, but you certainly weren't the worst. i'm going to tuck you away and do a shimmy. then we'll both be able to see clearer paths ahead.

happy new year.

---

" it ain't no shame... "

---

...to feel lonely, when you are.

it ain't no shame.

---

" it's snowing...and in other news, my mom is rad! "

---

almost three inches of snow outside, and my mom calls me up.

"do we have the film 'the karate kid' at home? your dad want's to watch it."

hahahahahahaawesome!

can you get any more cute factor out of your mom?

jeez, it's like a pure sunbeam just shot down from the outer galaxies and straight into my heart.

just in case, you too need a copy of the karate kid, here's where i am going right now to get mines.

---

" it's tough to be amazing, but you can try "

---

you're walking down towards the brooklyn ferry landing. the night is clear and cold. the chills from the ice wind slips its way down the front of your scarf and into the deep folds of your layered clothing.

you see the that the lights are still on inside the brooklyn ice cream factory, and you decide that no matter how cold, no matter how inane the idea, a large single scoop of strawberry ice cream on a sugar cone sounds like the greatest idea ever. you buy one for $3.50 and you are not disappointed.

across the waters, the city sits in a wide glistening smile. near the edge of the pier, there is a man standing in the length of his own shadow; around his head, a haloed ring of light radiates, the source of which is a passing ferry. music emanates from a small boombox sitting on top of a cart. he stands and does not move. the music is not memorable.

the brooklyn and manhattan bridges stand tall and ominous in the looming dark; their towering beams stretching up into the night where their gleaming lights mingle with the stars.


tonight's homework:

think about one thing in your life that you believe you can better. craft together a plan of attack, then actively work on making that one thing excel. those self-imposed limitations have no chance do they?

---

" new snow this winter hits "

---



---

" bye bye bettie "

---

dang bettie page, why'd you have to go?






wherever you moved on to, i hope you're having a blast.

---

" yes it's true, dylan and i totally discussed the merits between two starfleet patches "

---

dylan: this one, http://store.startrek.com/product/show/47963
dylan: or this one, http://store.startrek.com/product/show/47961

bay: well, on the one hand you got a classic design exemplified on the first one, buuuuut then again, there's something fairly sweet about the golden gate in the second one. especially with all the blazing rays of sunset?

dylan: i know
dylan: the academy one represents the bay too

bay: i guess it depends whether you want to be a cadet or an ensign

dylan: i know

bay: like, are you still in training? or are you in space?
bay: that's a tough decision that is

dylan: what would you take?

bay: i kinda dig the SF starfleet patch
bay: because then it might say that when the time comes, you're prepared for space travel
whereas the other patch could say that you're already capable of everything and check this out

dylan: aaand it reps the bay

bay: too true
bay: that's sort of a big ole plus for me

dylan: i like the other one for its eliteness and nostalgia

bay: it does have a classic feel to it

dylan: but the academy IS in SF

bay: right

dylan: and it is a tight two in one kind of thing
dylan: and technically official

bay: oh i agree

(insert dramatic pause here)

dylan: i'm in the academy!

bay: cooool

---

tonight's homework:

make your dreams come true over all obstacles. even your space dreams.

---

" soot yawd "

---


for all of my thai internet-browsing/firefox-using peoples, there is now a native thai-language version of firefox!

cool.

---

" transcription of hope "

---

OBAMA: Hello, Chicago.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain.

Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.

I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton ... and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years ... the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady ... Michelle Obama.

Sasha and Malia ... I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us ...to the new White House.

And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.

And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe ... the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best — the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.

To my chief strategist David Axelrod ... who's been a partner with me every step of the way.

To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics ... you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy ... who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

This is your victory.

And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.

You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime — two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.

There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.

I promise you, we as a people will get there.

AUDIENCE: Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

OBAMA: There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.

This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.

Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those — to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

AUDIENCE: Yes we can.

OBAMA: When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

AUDIENCE: Yes we can.

OBAMA: She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that We Shall Overcome. Yes we can.

AUDIENCE: Yes we can.

OBAMA: A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.

And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

AUDIENCE: Yes we can.

OBAMA: America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.

This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

---

" as so many people will say, ' yes we did.' "

---

a new dawn.

a new hope.

obama for all.

obama for all.

---

" vote vote, gotta go vote "

---


look, it's not like you have to be told to wash your hands when they're dirty, clean up after yourselves, put on sunscreen, water the plants, do some exercise a few times a week, take out the trash, hug the people you care for, charge your batteries, drink less, eat more fresh foods, cook at home, tighten that wallet up for the future, help people cross the street, encourage genuine learning in children, organize your finances, clip those toenails, sweep up those dust bunnies, call your parents regularly, and stretch out before jumping great distances.

so why i have to remind people to vote?

because some people are lazy. i can't vote for you, and today is the day.


i did it!

and so can you.

yes YOU can!!

(for 7 more hours)

---

" houston, we have a mouse. "

---

well, more like brooklyn.

brent found a mouse laying still on the carpet in the kitchen. it's small body curled up in front of the oven. no one was around; not a creature was stirring.

he only told me these facts after he had picked up and placed the dead mouse into the garbage. that sentence put me in a state of unease, and as i cooked later on, it continued to affect me.

outside, the winds are howling through the rain-washed darkness. every swoop and flurry screams and echoes in the streets below.

its little tail, sticking out of miscellaneous discarded items in the trash made me sad; all of the hairs on its small body just barely visible from underneath aluminum foil and plastic bags.

it's all so short, i thought to myself. and how easily forgotten amongst the remorse. how frank and curt our reactions to such tiny happenings.

and moments later, am i too to be forgotten in the same manner?

---

" this just in "

---

due to the kindness of a friend and his friend, i totally was in the audience of the colbert report last night. it did not disappoint in the slightest. see if you can spot a red zip-up hoodied pseudo-bearded asian guy with glasses. that may be me laughing raucously.

here is the episode in full.

he is so rad.

---

" lunchtime superness "

---


my ex-neighbor and good friend mariza and i went out to lunch today. delicious awesome taco truck and dessert lunch!



first of all, it is again solidified that the mexican food in california is delicious. i got two fish tacos, a carnitas taco, and some horchata.


there's really no comparison. i'd like to think that it just tasted good, because i missed mariza or i missed food on the left coast, but no. the fish was lightly battered, moist, and tasty.


the tortillas just the right size for a hand-held gripping. the carnitas flavorful and laden with just the right allurements.


afterwards, we took our leave from the taco truck, and festooned over to fruitvale proper to make our way to the churros spot. at this vendor, which is one of the stands attached to the newly revitalized fruitvale center area near the BART station, they had all sorts of fillings choices for the churros. we both got 1/2 length vanilla & 1/2 length chocolate. so so so good!



nearby, there was even a super fresh tiny little farmer's market! could the bay area be any more colorful or tasty?


i think not.

---

" hmm, maybe it was bad timing "

---


i guess i should have planned it better. who has time these days to keep all of these american holidays in check?


i suppose i should have known better than to create a social gathering on labor day weekend, but it's what all happened.


maybe next week will bring more of the things that i was looking forward to thing time around.


to clarify i guess, i am home for a little bit. anyone wanna hang out?


---

" some sunday afternoon "

---

you're sitting on the street selling your wares. the sun is high and bright in the summer sky; the clouds interspersed with glowing edges.



there is a girl with a polka dotted dress on. there are ruffles on the shoulders which extend into the empire waist, then billows out with a floating airy bell shape. the girl appreciates the fact that her dress is made of a thousand tiny red polka dots, and that that her panties are patterned with larger white polka dots on red. her shoes are golden gladiator sandals that don't look gaudy, her feet are perfect for them, and her toenails are a bold mauvish-pink. you should have asked her to be one of your portraiture models because you need more portraits and headshots on your website, but you don't because maybe it seems creepy, but it probably wouldn't be? in any case, she sort of makes your day with sharing that oddly open bit of information, while her euro-boyfriend leans on a tree in the nearby shade about ten feet away, grumpy and bespectacled in silly overly-masculine sunglasses. he's probably awesome though, maybe...probably not.

there are babies and dogs everywhere. both are interested in your shoes and pay a lot of attention to your feet.



to your right is your new friend that sells beautiful hair clasps adorned with various blooming flowers. she yelled at a man in the morning because he wanted to retain the right to be a self-righteous white man who served his country proudly and what did you do for yours how old are you i was fighting for freedoms you enjoy before you were even able to walk so think about that before you ask me to move two feet over so you too can enjoy the shade of this tree oh yeah oh yeaahhh well no one owns the sidewalk this is new york city property and i will sell my three harmonicas and a hardcover bound harry potter gift set with american pride so's i can make a living for myself just like the rest of my fellow veterans.

my friend and fellow vendor do not see eye to eye. in fact i notice that even i don't really know what to say or do, so i shuffle my feet and become fascinatingly interested in reading my horoscope in the latest L magazine.



you're selling pinback buttons and greeting cards of your own creation, and there's a perhaps 38 year-old man rifling though your wares. he seems to be really excited at all of the potential little gifts these would make and he giggles gleefully to himself as he meticulously looks at every single button in your collection. in the end he buys 56 buttons from you and you shake his hand for the mutual entertainment value you've shared with him.



a good friend of yours and her awesome b/f swing on by your spot and engage you for many many minutes of conversational blisses. she looks through your varied wares, and he talks you about how obscure some of the "world of film and television" ones are. you completely revel in the fact that he's chosen the buttons which speak to his interests and you are glad that you share the same passion for film-watching.



you realize at 4pm that you detest all of the shitty burritos you've ever eaten in williamsburg. why did you even want to get another williamsburg burrito in the first place? what a strange and odd desire. how could you possibly have been that hungry at all?

a belgian friend of the other vendor on corner regales you on the reasons why he loves thailand, and you two talk for a couple hours on what aspects of living in thailand were the best and how come all the thai food in new york city, save a very small handful are completely disgusting. he wanders around a lot and in the end, skateboards with three overweight loud kids in one of the side-streets. he reminds you to be more open to amazing mundane and profound moments, because what else are we doing here.



you make friends with a lot of people today, and in that manner span lifetimes with them all in a matter of a few sentences. skater kids, gutter punks from philly, young trustafarians, hipsters in all flavors, girls with great fits but horrible shoes, a bevvy of outstandingly clad gay men, and puppies puppies puppies!



to your left another vendor sells $10 keds which are new and varied in their designs. if you wore keds, you see yourself buying a couple pairs, but you don't so you don't. he steps away and asks you if you could help him sell his shoes while he walks off into the far distance for something. you sell a pair of blue shoes with silver dots all over them to a russian woman who's feet are large and rugged, but oddly enough, beautified by the shoes. she loves them and then drives away in her 1970's van with the semi-domed back side window. when the vendor returns, he splits the sale with you and with those $5 you buy some lemonade down the street.

your sunday ends up beautiful and fulfilled. you have money in your pocket, a lightness in your heart, and everything seems to have turned out great. you ride your bike home after packing up and walking yur vendor friend back to her studio. it takes all but 15 minutes to get home. you invite a good friend of yours over to drink beers on the roof. your subletter joins you, and you all spend the rest of the night eating mint milano cookies and drinking beers on the roof of your building, basking in the gleaming overhead moonlight.



---

" sometimes miao333 and i are the best "

---


http://pics.livejournal.com/lucylou/pic/000cqrcp

mia0333: u r so weird
baystar23: yeah? whaddya gonna do about it
baystar23: muah ahah a ahha aha haha aha h
mia0333: punch the air
baystar23: yeah
baystar23: i like that part
mia0333: i'm gonna go for a walk up marin
baystar23: okay
baystar23: i'm cleaning my camera equipment
mia0333: is that a euphemism for something dirty?
baystar23: you're weird
baystar23: and, no
mia0333: heh heh heh
mia0333: r u mad at me?
baystar23: nope
baystar23: why?
baystar23: i had a dream all of my friends came to my house to pose nude for me
baystar23: i think that'll be my next project when i come home
baystar23: cause you have to make your dreams come true
baystar23: maybe i should also ride down the street in a large cupcakemobile too
baystar23: that was in the same dream
mia0333: mmm cupcakes
mia0333: i'm hungry

---

" august possiblilities "

---

it's the end of the first week of august. the days aren't so hot as they are questionably thunderstorm-prone.

still i have a small fan, which is strapped to my bed, humming me to sleep at a low frequency; the droning on of the whirs putting me to sleep with a gentle steady breeze.

---

today i cut myself shaving. i let the cut bleed from my jaw. it's line split and expanded as it trickled down the length of my neck and onto my upper chest. i studied it's path, let it meander a bit, then wiped it from memory. if only so many painful things could just be wiped away thusly.

---

i spent a good part of yesterday morning decorating a box which will house the myriad of various 1" buttons i've crafted for fun. now along with the creative joys the making of buttons brings with it, i hope to extend it's life by selling it to various strangers on the street this sunday. come to visit my table if you wish (L train to Bedford, walk to that odd trianglular block at N. 3rd & Metropolitan, noon to dusk-ish).

this past tuesday i had a test run for my sales. it was late in the day and i hit the street with a friend of a friend right in between the home-commute and the dinner-out times.

an old man was the sole buyer of the entire evening, and he stood over the buttons like a loitering collector; unable to decide what he was really doing there - buying or creating conversations to pass the time. some people just like to talk to strangers. luckily for him, when you talk to a seller of buttons on the street itchin' for a sale, conversation comes easily.

he bought all of my panda-themed ones, and two special edition thai bus ticket ones. he seemed pleased, but i'm not sure he appreciated them as much as i did. i guess that's a normality i may have to get used to.

i made a total of $11.00 and i rode my bike a total of 10 miles there and back home.

---

so many things are in transition. the day camp across the street from me seems to be less groups of small sweaty screaming children, and more busses carting said children to exciting faraway field trips.

i never got to go to summer day camps, so i can only guess that they're having a great ole time doing all sorts of exciting things. at least i hope they are.

---

i've recently rediscovered the simple pleasure of fresh fruits in cereal. there's nothing like adding blueberries and strawberries to a crunchy delectable bowl of O's, flakes, or clustered deliciousness. it can make a morning indescribably bright no matter the weather.

---

so change. forever there will be change. living on the east coast now for as long as i have been here, has constantly reminded me that there are actual seasons. when living in the east bay area of northern california and/or in the whole of thailand, you see and feel fewer distinct seasonal shifts.

i find that more than the steady patterns and the interesting observations of weather and clothing choices, having these seasons be so distict effects my mood and energy like never before. one could say this year so far i've had an energetic winter, a somber spring, and an emotional sort of summer. in this light, i now wonder what sort of fall it will turn out to be.

---

tonight's homework:

get a piece of paper and make two columns. write out a list of all of your current dreams and desires as of yet unfulfilled in one, and in the other a list of accomplishments.

think for 20 minutes of how you can move items from your dream-list column over to the accomplishments column.

do not be afraid to ask a friend for help in setting about to do so. call me if you need to. i'll be working on the same thing.

---

" how can you tell? "

---

sunday.

the downstairs neighbor's voices echo in laughter which winds down the staircase and out the door; the jingle-jangle of keys follows tappy footsteps.

it's 3:00pm and the sun turns to overcast summerstorms. water comes down in a swift torrent, then dissipates into an overcast sky.

the day is passing by slow, and how can you tell if you're present amidst it all?

it's 6:23pm, and i realize we've run out of toilet paper in the apartment, and the light in the hallway just shuts off for an indeterminate amount of time.

i look in my planner and there's nothing written, so the day defaults to doing absolutely nothing, and making it up as i go along.

it's 9:06pm and there's shitty commercial club-hop emanating from the ride of two boys with horrible hairstylings.

teenagers on the street below talk about relationship problems and juvenile woes.

a plane is flying overhead. i hear the sound of the building's front door opening, ringing out from inside, and mirrored out on the street.

no one is coming to visit me today.

---

" short filmmaking is rad! "

---

now that i am allowed to distribute this short in a manner my team and i see fit, below please find our short for the 72-hour film shootout 2008, as put on by the aafilmlab in new york city.

i hope that you enjoy it watching it as much as we did making it.

---



---

" the sheer joys of the 99¢ store "

---

you know that feeling when you need to get only a tiny kit of assorted small screwdrivers in a glasses-repair-kit form? or a fourth-party energy-saving light, or a transformers/dora the explorer piñata, or anything else that is awesome and random?

that's right, you've just earned yourself an hour-long air-conditioned stroll through the tightly packed slim aisles of your local 99¢ store.

they have everything. well, very nearly everything. any store that has exactly everything is just silly.

i spent a fair amount of time yesterday looking for one of those large 1000 matches box of matches, you know, for candle usage, tea lights, roommate restroom cover-ups, et al. of course i never found them. why would a place that has every single mexican and italian saint on an enormous candle ever, not have matches anywhere? isn't that sort of a complete set sort of deal? i thought so.

aisle after tiny cramped aisle, i found a sense of wonderment at the potential of 25lb. turkey aluminum baking pans, an unusual plethora of gardening & house-ware tools, weird and scary-looking children's DVDs with menacing animation almost guaranteed, and the newest addition to my particular locale, a gallery of spanish-language questionable frozen foods.

i stood in a deep state of indecision, wondering whether or not i really wanted that non-brandname box of plain, powdered, and chocolate-covered donuts. in the end, i had to muster up all of my strengths and move on into the hair dyes section. i can honestly say that i was a little depressed.

but there's a sense of bliss too that stems from not only meandering around in random almost-purchases, it's the people watching. the older lady in her summer muu-muu frock, the hipster guy with that silly tight-legs/skinny-sagging with belt combo and the too-small-for-anything tote bag. it's the chubby kid begging his chubby parent for some crappy junk food, and of course it's the chinese girl yelling at the top of her lungs in mandarin at perhaps a fussy boyfriend, her sunglasses like dark plastic blackened dinner plates resting on a button-nose and a cool-because-they're-fake string of pearls.

you almost can't buy a show like this. just think, our next summer vacation is probably right down the street from where you are right now, waiting to fill your afternoon with an odd-duck sense of fulfilment.

tonight's homework:

take a photo of something completely rad at a 99¢ store, then share it's awesome ridiculousness with everyone!

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" 35 minutes to bliss "

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it took me 35 minutes to ride my bike from 42nd street times square all the way to my front door in windsor terrace. i;m no expert rider with the fancy biker shorts or cycling computer, but that's what i call hustle.

there's such a feeling of glee and freedom that comes with a hard ride. a sort of euphoria that washes over your whole body. it's fantastic!

i hope to feel like this for a long time, but my fear is that it won't.

in any case, wheeee!

for reference, here's a gmap of the ride:

http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2072613

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" yeesh, who needs a hug? "

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dear yourself,

i know you're not doing that great as of late. it's a tough gig. remember how you were so excited about those couple photo contests, trying to really be critical of your own work and present yourself openly and honestly? i mean, it's gotta be in the attempt itself which is sort of an accomplishment in of itself right?

i'm sorry. i'm just trying to be supportive. i completely understand if you don't want to talk about it. heartbreak, heartache, feeling husky, not working as much as you'd like, being passionate about your photography, but not getting a proper professional recognition. everyone goes through these waves of doubt and disappointment. something will turn up though right? something always does.

i also really really understand that at times, it truly feels like there's no real point to make an effort anymore, but there is. it makes all the difference to buck up, hunker down, and go for the gusto. any ole normal person can let it all get to them, to push themselves into a funk and not do anything about it. but you're different.

you are going to make it happen. great amazing and fantastical things are going to happen to you. you're great. you're funny and entertaining. you talk a lot, but maybe that's not necessarily a bad thing. maybe.

so don't worry. everything will be fine in the end, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. i promise, you'll be fine.

signed,

you from ten minutes ago

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" my summer thus far... "

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dear all my people,

a couple weeks ago, a few friends and i participated in the 72hour film shootout competition, put on by the asian american film lab.

we decided to get off of our lazy butts and put our talents together to craft together something awesome and entertaining.

you can now not only view and appreciate our no-sleep weekend film at the link below, but you can also vote for the "audience award" portion of the competition. you may also leave awesome comments too!!

please pass the link or this post along to any friends you have that would enjoy to see us in our short-filmmaking glory.

thank you so much for your consideration.

if we win, and if you make it out to NYC, i will take you to get ice cream or something.

wheeee,

bay

http://ningin.com/mediastream/item:show/2008/07/02/a-first-good-bye/

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tonight's homework:

follow your dreams.

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" mr. salty comes to brooklyn "

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the illustrious mr. salty of boston, mass. decided to come on over to brooklyn, ny to share the lyrical flows with all of his people.

instead of a show, all he had at the end was a triple overbooked band bill to mull over, and a 6+ hour round-trip lucky star bus ride.

good thing for us, he left us with a couple tidbits of his personal thoughts on the short excursion, and a freestyle nugget to chomp on.

big up mr. salty.

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" after getting my shiz stoled, this makes me feel better "

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SCRABBLEKLOK!!!

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" it's never just about a bike light is it?"

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i went to the main branch of the brooklyn library today to photograph an exhibit inside. the sun rose high and all around me the heat engulfed and entangled. to step beyond the egyptian-symbol-ed doors and into the wide lobby was cool and welcoming.

after a few hours of setup and documentation, i prepared my things and walked out to my bicycle. and there, in the place of my bicycle headlight, was the brash swipe of tape residue. it had been stolen while i was inside.

the light itself, nothing special. small and compact, broken even, hence the electrical tape used to hold it onto the frame. it wouldn't snap onto the holder, so i taped it down, but i never thought that someone would steal it, especially with it in the condition it was in.

but they did. it is gone.

i stood there for a minute, then just let it go. i let the light go, but i couldn't shake the feeling of loss. it felt like someone had slipped their invisible thieving hand underneath my skin, and pilfered the contents of my being. can you truly just let things go as easily as that?

there is always sadness on a small scale; there is always a pain which lingers. like getting teased at from afar and unknowingly, then to hear about all of the nasty things said about you, the words passing your ears without their knowing...and how you just felt crushed of spirit.

and even though it's just a light, i know it's just a light for a bike, it never just feels like it's about a bike light. it always feels indicative of some larger occurrence, and sometimes it's difficult to let go.

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" well, while we're talking about clouds "

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" somedays, don't you just feel like... "

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and



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tonight's homework:

don't let anything hold you back. stop making excuses. don't let him or her make you feel like that; tell them what you feel, and how together, you can push on through.

take photos, listen to music that makes you happy, dance, dream, flourish.

it's the summer, and it's happening right now.

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" tempermental sundays "

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" summer heat "

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a five-fold fleet of engaged frigates lay dutifully waterborne between our lonely isles.

an ocean of supposed differences and a sea of doubts intrude on a shared joy.

what can i do when my coast is faced the wrong way out?

afloat in this summer's heat, who can bear it but to move forward.

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" can being web 2.0 be any cuter? "

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" this is how it felt when the storm passed by this afternoon; and where were you? at home i gather. "

" i wish i knew "

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what is the right thing to do when you feel like nothing you're doing is right?

you're going through the motions, and the emotions. they are leading you to decisions, actions, inaction, reactions.

every choice made, every statement said, these are forming your immediate future before your eyes, and how fickle time has become. to see and know, and to know that you'll just have to see.

you are doing your best, and hoping that it goes noticed; the tiny bird in your corner sharing your secret thought over far distances both literal and the ones in you heart.

tonight's homework:

muster up all of your strengths,. be fiercely and confidently open and honest. tell that person that means that something to you how you feel. then respect the pause in between, and wait for the conversation to either meander towards silence, or begin.

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" yes, yes, yes! "

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" click click sha-click "

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a list of things on event photography:

1. be kind to that random photographer taking photos of you. photographers have feelings too.

2. if you are a photographer, and have an event to cover, don't forget cough drops and tissues.

3. if you're supposed to be at the location on-time, get there a little ahead and come prepared. maybe the client won't be.

4. you don't need to make weird & potentially racial remarks to your photographer. the photographer knows that they are not white, even though you are. relax. drink some more coffee and pellegrino.

5. if possible, don't give the photographer the stink-eye if the strobe goes off in your face. the photographer feels bad, but c'mon, you sorta knew what was coming didn't you?

6. smile for god's sake smile. even just a bit will look better than whatever face you're giving me. it'll be okay...i know how to edit.

7. feed the photographer. the photographer has a stomach too, and can willingly eat off to the side, away from guests. no water as well makes for crabby photogs, and it will show itself in the work.

8. don't hit the photographer's camera. that's the gear part of it you know? if you break it and then give a gruff harumph...well thats just sort of rude, aaand the photographer won't be able to take awesome photos of you with things in your teeth.

9. remember to thank the photographer if they're doing an exceptional job. photographers enjoy positive feedback too. your suit or dress is great; you've done well. see? didn't that feel good?

and finally

10. let the photographer go. it's okay to let them go; they'll be back soon enough. and hey while you're at it, take the photographer's business card. maybe you'll like what you see on it enough to pass it along. for serious!

...

i need a nap.

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" on-camera and mouth full of food "

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when being interviewed on the street, i suggest not having a tasty sandwich in your mouth, or else by the time you are actually on camera, it'll look like you are eating your tongue and teeth from the inside out. watch for my purple checkered wrap and my wiggly face!



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" an odd perch "

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so yeah, a while ago i told everyone about a freelance gig i scored. I finally got my awesome(read not awesome but still completely useful) mobile phone video file downloaded to my computer.



don't you just wish that you too were there to doodle with me so i wouldn't be the only "weird thing" at the loft party? yeah, me too.

the shot itself is of me looking down at the doodles i've already done, then a 360-view of the room as best as i could do while sitting atop a 10ft ladder. it was questionable.

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tonight's homework:

think about the silliest job you've had, then share it with a friend. you'd be surprised how much better you feel, and potentially how your friends admire you for being so brave and/or adventurous.

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" so what if i gave myself a manicure? "

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you try not spending money on a sunday night and see what activity you end up doing.


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in any case, i think it's a fabulous job, although i zoned out for a bit and went overboard on the buffing by perhaps twenty minutes.

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" long exposure "

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night



&



day

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" dim lights the sky "

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my window-sill is wet. outside there is a rolling storm which woke me up from a sleep that knew it was not to be had.

my eyes are not yet fully open. i can feel the heat from the uncontrollable radiator rising to where i lay in an overhead loft-bed. my throat is parched and so dry that no amount of swallowing will ever feel like it could lubricate the desert shaft of my arid windpipes.

i climb down to the floor on my loft's ladder; it's not attached and remains as unstable, just as the first time i wobbled along it's short and altogether unsafe angular structure.

the tiles of my floor are covered with a layer of thin rugs purchased from IKEA and are still curiously cold to the touch. why have the rugs at all if not for the warmth upon the touch of feet?

it occurs to me that the vastly unequal temperature of my small room is not only frustrating, but also completely annoying. how is one supposed to be a lazy day-sleeper if one cannot sleep in?

and so in the less baker's-oven portion of my room, i sit waiting for day to break through the storm clouds, as dim lights the sky.

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this new year is starting out so strange and i can't make out it's tone. we'll give it some more time yet.

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tonight's homework:

develop that last roll of film, because you never know what's on it...perhaps a strange myriad of images that seem so strange to be stuck together in a thin plane of silver nitrate. and yet, without knowing it, of course this is the way it had to unfold.

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