" looking around but nothing to see "

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you're sitting in your room. outside, the world is beeping and whirring. there are dogs fighting at the feet of your building. they sound sngry.

you're sitting in a foreign country that feels like home. you're alone, and you're sitting on your bed, tuned out to the noise of your air conditioner making sweet love to your fan, which coos and breathes fresh air all around your tiny room, circulating it's inanimate desires through your hair.

you've just gotten a visa approved by the thai immigration, and you're not sure of what that means, in terms of both your "career" in thailand, and also your life. but it feels good.

"should i stay here in this office all the time and become a displaced hard-working cog in a wheel which squeaks in a different language?" you think to yourself, as mosquitos land upon your body and bite through your skin.

"should i stay here and ask for some freedom; the ability to explore and research on my own and with other like-minded individuals, building both a better understanding of myself and my surroundings?," you ask yourself, as the bites, now devoid of local blood, begins to engorge with white blood cells, attempting to down the swelling.

you're lying back on your bed now. the walls of your room stay quiet, reflecting all of your worries and overwhelming self-questioning back upon you with it's mute energy. the sun has set, and it's nighttime again. you want to sleep, but you have nothing but awakedness running through your mind.

you're walking down the steps to go watch television. "tomorrow will be the best day ever," you think to yourself and you will drink a cup of luke-warm water. the screen is flickering it's ultraviolet radiation into your ocular cavities and skin, and you're fine.

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