" today is your life "

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welcome to today. wherever you are, it's there in front of you; your life. there's a certain air of optimism electrifying its magical currents throughout the known universe.

can you feel it?

i woke up this morning with a stomach which felt twisted and ill, a head which ached and shifted the dull constant pains around my skull with every breathe, and a body which could still use a little muscular fine-tuning as they call it.

but here i am, and there it is in front of me...a beautiful brand new afternoon, full of possibilities and strange wonders.

it seems exciting, but it is in reality a great way to trick yourself into feeling good enough about yourself and the work you are doing, and finally get out of bed and see that you live an existance of repetition and vacant stares while on public transportation. you arrive home everyday to the home you have or your apartment or your loved ones if you have them, or that special someone if you have him or her. it's nice, or is it?

i don't proclaim to have any of the answers. but, that is what makes it fun. life i mean. it's fun, and strange and weird and shifty and sad and vibrant.

my head hurts so much i have to wonder why. really. as i sit and type this, i can see the edges of my vision blacking out slightly cause of the intense pain. but that's fine, cause it takes my mind off of how hungry i am. this is not prison; this is the revolution within the Self. and here i am.

one of the great things about moving to a different country, is that it really tests your socially-constructed mores to the degree that if you were to remove yourself from a system, and implant yourself into another, could you get along with the same sense of confidence?

some people can do this, and do do this on a regular basis; becoming different people, doing different things, and living their lives without restraint or social hinderences. the other 98 percent of us, creatures of habit one and all, seem to only have revolutionary thoughts, actions, and lifestyles when you know what the score is.

it's amazing how i cannot go shopping here, and know what to wash my hair, or brush my teeth with, or consume, or not consume, or any number of things that i may or may not be able to distinguish due to social systems.

it's funny how when you go to a different country, you start to rely on brands a little more: should you eat that box of queffosol, or stick with doritos? in times of dire need, would you try and eat questionable meats from a street stall, or take a moral plunge and hit up the international version of mcdonalds. life is strange, and i am not one to judge.

if you are ready to be yourself and go for the gold, i say go go go! if there is no time like the present, then take those fleeting seconds and ride em out. it's hard not to be so alive here in thailand, because every second is a linguistic, moral, and mentally challenging defining moment.

good thing i have some imodium i.d. you at least have to give in somewhere right?

just some thoughts for the week. re-evaluate your life, and changes will occur.

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