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dear you (meaning me, meaning bay),
reality. here i am in what some experts call "the thick of it."
so, everyday i awake to find myself in thailand. the walls are small around me and there is a rotating fan panning back and forth; it's redirects air cooled by an overhead air-conditioning unit all along the length of my bed.
outside is the heat of a new day rising into the low nineties. i usually am awoken by either the sound of dogs fighting, motorcycles buzzing by, or the alarm from my cell phone. i make it a normal habit to set the alarm for 7:45am, so that i can lay in bed for at least another hour, without being late to go to work. it gives you that hour-long opportunity to ask yourself if you're really going to get up or not, and it feels nice to have options.
you start to think about what compromises the extent of your present life, and how you came to be here. what am i doing here? i think that this is better than finding a job in the field of my interest, but how can i even begin to compare? i haven't even gotten a third-party job within cinema at all since graduating.
it's like you have the magically dull piece of paper that states "you have a BA!! you are capable!!!" but no one wants to read it.
i feel like i put another part of my life on hold by coming here; the part of me that wants to do nothing but travel far and wide, shoot rolls and rolls of film, and just luxuriate in the path of my choice.
and to some extent, i am travelling and in some way i am taking pics...so. what am i really talking about?
somedays i just have no clue what i'm doing at all, but in light of that, i really have no choice but to do all i can in the now.
hmmm, after writing this all out, it seems that i have spent the last 10 mintes wasting my time writing myself into a circle, so i'm going to stop here.
sincerely you,
me
ps- there's a longer way to go yet, suck it up.
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