" the hot cold of it "

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so there's this seemingly insurmountable chasm, and your goals and dreams are on the other side. everyone you love is on the other side, and they all-at-once beckon to you in a sweetly siren-like manner to join them.

it's as if your heart is elated and breaking at the same time. you take a moment to look down at your mishapen mediocre form of a body, and think to yourself, "how will i ever get to the other side?"

the answer lies in the calming of the fears that you feel, and taking a step towards the edge of the cliffs. looking down you can see that below is one of the largest trampoline that you have ever seen in your lifetime, ever.

you realize that before you can fear something fully, you have to know what the score is; if you have no clue what's on the table, don't bother caring about those teary-eyed faced at the other side; they don't exist.

being here is like living a double life. and i have to ask myself daily, "who am i really?" it's a strange duality, being here, because it really does test what you think like, what you feel, your strength of character, and every bit of your personality and belief systems.

it's a very cleansing experience; your body feels as if it's freezing cold with anxiety and boiling hot from strength of will. with each day, i feel like i have the brave nature enough to leap down into the cloven canyon, because i know that by taking these risks, i am bound to end up on the other side. that and trampolines are cool.

homework:

tonight find someone that you love and punch thenm really hard in the shoulder (make it a friend and not a relative). then kiss them on the now bruised spot that you just hit, and ask them if that made it all better. who said love doesn't have to hurt?

it's either that, or get a slice of strawberry french cheesecake and a glass of fresh cold milk, and enjoy them together with a friend for me.

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