" the sound of one smile "

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i hate getting my hair cut.

you sit there in a chair, then you have to look at yourself while some stranger looks at you, then you have to think "hmm, should i stare at myself like an egomaniacal freak, or should i stare at the floor, or at the haircutter person?"

it's all so strange of an experience for me to ever have it become what adults call "normal."

my dad was the only person who could cut my hair. i would be called forward and asked to sit. and to sit still...very very still. if i moved too much or breathed to heavy, it would ruin the cut.

no matter the weather, my brother and i would have to wait to have or hair cut. whether it be freezing-sf-fog-looming-and-nearly-snowing-but-never-so weather, or hot-hot-hot-no-shade-ever-coming-to-cover-my-head-which-is-hot-weather, there would we be, awaiting the tendered coif.

so of course this time it was no different.

i went to get my hair cut. after a month of not going out, not finding an electric clipper set, not thinking really if i was ever going to get my hair cut, i actually did.

it was horrible as well, except this time i had a friend go with me. there's nothing like an uncomfortable situation being dissolved in the comforting smile of a friend. it's as if that smile is a visual anchor which beams through the horridness of anything that might have even the semblance of fear.

so now after getting through that, i still hate getting my hair cut, but it was nice to have her with me, cause if i had to stare at myself like that one more time, i think i might have inadvertantly passed out from all of the indescribable emotional overload. that and she has great shoes.

i love being in thailand because it gives you so many opportunities to make mistakes, and then learn from those mistakes. what better way to become an adult right?

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