you know that saying, if you have a great idea, someone else has already thought of it before you had? or something like that. yeah, it's happened to me too.
when i came to SF State i had absolutely no clue what i wanted to do, except that i wanted to do something with photo, or drawing, or movie-making. something that utilizes the mind and the hands in conjunction with one another. i wanted to create. to have an output, and to have these things expressed.
around my 3rd year at state, i finally came to a crushing and overwhelming decision that i wanted to be a filmmaker. it incorporates every possible thing i am interested in, into a cohesively layered sense-overloading beautiful medium. now that i'm a year and a half passed graduation, it is my passion, and my drive. big up to my mentor Anita Chang. she helped me see beyond the veil. thank you Anita. endless praise and thanks.
the desire to make films is my every thought, and even though i have yet to find that place that i will call the first big turning point in my filmmaking "career," i know that it is what i will be doing. now i rant and rave and stress and worry, and it's all worth it. it feels like everything is worth it, because this is what i want to do. this is the justified mania of creators. welcome to a taste of mine.
this comes a little late, but one of my current inspirations (that i have had the pleasure of gaining personal advice from, albeit in tiny pieces here and there) is Apichatpong "joe" Weerasethakul, a unique, humble, and excitingly refreshing savior of my hope for thai film. he represents in his ideology and work, all of the passions and desire to create films that i do. it makes me wonder if it is even worth it at times to pursue this career, knowing that he exists. i doubt my abilities, and of course that's silly.
nothing will stop me from trying. not poverty, not other peoples' desire for money, not fatcats, not hollywood pressures on the world to produce shitty sequels that sell to 4 year-olds and grandparents. no.
i will be ravenous in my pursuit of this chosen craft. and at times even, i feel that nothing can stop me. heroes give hope, and dreamers will continue to hope for something more than there is.
down with the shit films which have added to the negative views on thailand in the past. down to the all of the incarnations of the king and i, kickboxer, the beach (although a savvy read, a poo of a movie), and down with brokedown palace. down with the harsh realities of this country, my ancestral homeland. i want to get past the facts, and build a healing for all of my people.
big up to thailand and big up to Khun Apichatpong. thank you for being all that you are, and good luck to you in your everything.
please click on the pic below to connect to an SF Gate article on Apichatpong "joe" Weerasethakul, and the current american tour of his films.
- everyone needs heroes -
Filmmaker, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, photo courtesy of artist
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