Monday, November 08, 2004

" she runs, but not too far "

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i find myself thinking all-today about some words i over heard while running the run yesterday. there was a point in the race where i rounded around and overlapped two of the maids (they all ran too). i was exhausted, and they looked like they were at least enjoying themselves, despite also having to run. there was Noi an older maid and the wife of one of the drivers, and Thunda the youngest one.

i decided to keep them company, because it would allow me to take some photos of the race at the same time. Thunda couldn't contain her energy; it was as if being in the park amidst all these free people, gave her an inspiration to participate. she would keep with my set pace for a few minutes, then race ahead. trail back, then zoom forward with a burst of speed. it was nice to see her uninhibited. after about the fifth time, Noi told her "hey, don't run too far ahead; the police will get you before you finish the run."

it was told a little bit in joke, and a little bit in reality, although i don't really know the amount of truth behind the statement. Thunda sank back and stuck with us the rest of the way in. when we were nearing to the end, i egged her on, and we raced to the finish line; she smiled and beamed as we crossed into a group of other participants. while catching out breath and waiting for the others in our group, she looked around and watched the other runners come in.

i couldn't help thinking that she was trying to build a memory of this day. you could see her mind filing the freedom of the run in her head, for the times when she feels moreover boxed in; the hesitation to run on and away, fresh on her thoughts. after some more people got in, we walked over to claim the certificates of completing the race, breakfast boxes, and water bottles.

it's really difficult to put your feet in someone else's shoes sometimes. you think you know what you really are all about, and at times very confident you know how you might feel as you approach any given situation. i however, was not so sure how to feel then and still now, i almost wanted her to keep going until she disappeared among the crowd. seeing these inequalities on an almost daily basis reminds me of the appreciation of my life.

without an almost regulatory deconstruction of the past, how will we ever make it to the future?

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