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i voted today, and then had to thank a friend of mine for helping me out. big up to emi louie-nishikawa all the way in jiggity japan. thanks yo. that was right swell of you it was.
the following blog post is a version of the letter i sent to her:
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dear emi,
i just wanted to thank you for the information you sent to me the other night regarding the overseas absentee vote thingie-thingie. i just wanted to tell you what happened.
so i was going ape-poo over the fact that my absentee wasn't here already. since my parents are here, i went onto that fax/voter info/electronic transfer weblink to pdf. file site-thing, and did the ole click click, clickity-click.
i got the fax sheets, the information, and every other little smidget of necessary information possible with the full intention of voting while in thailand. then since it was one in the morning, i thought to myself, "what better time to call up my parents than around oh, 'hella too late at night/early in the morning,' and tell them what i found out?" which i promptly did.
needless to say, they were all about voting, but at present groggily unexcited. my mom also reminded me that we are about 14 hours ahead (15 now due to daylight savings...or spendings...whatever the name is...time), of the U.S., and to just call and discuss about the how-to and what-to do's about the voting situation the following day. which i promptly did.
so, this morning, i go with my mom to the U.S. embassy by bus, and i got all of this information there, filled out a crapload of voting papers, then double-sealed the security envelope. i licked about four security barrier things to affix the letter to itself, then it was all filled out, addressed properly, and ready to send. voting is rad.
i walk up to the helper-person window lady, and she looks at me all crooked...
(i can only guess that this is due to all the annoying crazy americans trying to extend their visas, renew existing ones, and generally being umpity and annoyingly americans...which means pouty, childish, and pushy. so hey, americans? yeah, can you do me and the rest of the world's embassies a favor and not yell at people because they don't speak the gloriously annoying amount of english that you do? i mean, they mostly learn grammar here, and conversational english is just not really a grand priority. please realize you are disrespecting people with your broad high-DB-pitched audible accusations. it's true. yeah, that would help me out a lot, because then i wouldn't feel like making you look the the ass-buckets you are, to the rest of the americans in the embassy/on the street/in the markets/on public transportation. it's cool to have a loud voice, but can you pretend that the world is a little larger than [fill in generic townsburg here]? well, it is. while you're at it, realize that in thailand, a really excessive show of skin at a buddhist temple is just not proper. not meaning that your flabby sweaty tanned-in-certain-visible-areas skin is repulsive..um, to look at, but it's culturally not proper. cover yourself up, or else you might have to wear the clothes provided at the doors of most temples... which is nasty and smells like the body odor thousands of other people who refuse to respect the fact that they are in a different country/culture/place with over 2547 years of buddhist religious beliefs built upon a tradition of animism and spirituality. also know that socks are required too, or else you can wear the temple's provided socks of the same odor content as the clothes stated above. yeah, please get in on that. thanks.)
...then asks me, "what do you want to do? "
i told her i was here to cast my vote for the presidency, and i found all of this info in the office, filled out everything, and want to hand it over to the proper place...which is the U.S. embassy.
she looks at all of my prepared forms, sets them aside, then looks at the prepared absentee voter security letter (of which has a pre-paid U.S. postal stampy-stamp already printed on it), then looks right all up into my eyes and asks, "so, what you're telling me is that you want to leave this here?"
inside my head and to the side, i'm simultaneously laughing my ass off, kicking her ole embassy-ass in the face, and awkwardly staring all cock-eyed and slack-jawed in disbelief. where else am i supposed to put this thing? it said on the posters on the wall, the pamphlet next to the forms, online, the people at the security desk, and over the loudspeaker, to give it to your window (or the next available helpful person's window). i mean, rocket science?? c'mon...wake up, ahhhhhh.
then i realize i'm being a flipping internal-asshole to be thinking like this (see above rant about americans in foreign countries - with a focus on thailand). i just gave in to my momentary lapse of understanding and patience, then say "yes." but not really like "yes" in the confident, i'm-making-a-decision-that-i-mean-to-make-and-now-i-am-audibly-affirming-said-decision sort of way. it was in a more pseudo-questiony unsure-if-she-was-for-real kind of way, cause i was hoping that i didn't do anything wrong.
and i didn't.
i voted. she took the vote-envelope, and hopefully at this very moment, it's going straight onto a plane this afternoon headed for california.
word bird.
i await the results.
love,
bay
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