" dial tone deaf "

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i am horrible on the phone some of the time.

i tend to not talk when promted, fall asleep late at night snoring into the speaker; i blather on about nothing at all, usually pertaining to my inadequacies and self-reflective awkwardness.

the conversations i usually have on the phone are plump with questions and no answers, stutters and stammers, inexplicable moments of pause, and it's next to impossible for me not to be rude, so if you insist on actually talking to me for hours on end, i cannot in all honesty begin to hang up with you.

i mean, if you think speaking with me in english is bad, you should try me in thai. it's quite the exercise in patience, but i get through it fine...although you might not. this is also saying that you speak and understand thai.

but,

sometimes i have those phone calls where everything is just great. i start with a perfect salutation, get straight to the point of why i called, or if i was the receiver, i can effortlessly entertain you in whatever you may have to say, state, share, or ask. i almost get possessed with an innate ability to yak on and on. i know just when to say what, the tone to use to encourage further wondrous sentences, and just when to let someone go.

those conversations are simply amazing, and i wish i had more of them.

but on the whole, i'm usually really bad on the phone. you can ask becca silvers. she'll tell you the truth. i'm not saying don't call me, i'm just saying that i'm much better in person.

so take me out. i'll buy you some tea, and we can talk about anything you like, and i promise to be a good guest, filled with interest and reciprocity.

tonight's homework:

call someone you really want to talk to, a friend, co-worker, love interest/crush, friend, then invite them out to dinner, tea, coffee, or a walk. get to see how they react in a real-life situation. give them a chance and stop resenting that they cannot for the life of them sustain a telephonical conversation for more than a few minutes.

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